Shattered Bonds

The sidebar of Wayward Radish's blog contains this quote by CS Lewis:

"Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive...those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience."

Perhaps that quote best expresses my thoughts after reading Shattered Bonds: The Color of Child Welfare by Dorothy Roberts. This book provides a mixture of anecdotal personal accounts and statistics to attempt to explain the over-representation of black children in the child welfare system. The author points out that most children in foster care, including black children, are not there because of abuse. Instead the foster care system has become a warehouse for child-neglect related to poverty, mental illness and drug abuse. She points out that the court ordered generic parenting classes that parents must participate in in order to get their children back rarely address the families problems. As a society, we have become too willing to believe that poverty and neglect are the same thing. Sadly, when you look at the number of black children in foster care and compare that number to children of other races, even if one controls for other variables, there are still more black children in care.

I was a foster mom for awhile. I never intended to be one. I wanted to adopt an older child and I was told by the agency I went through that I had to become certified. When I completed my paperwork for adoption, I checked that I was not interested in a legal risk adoption, that is an adoption in which the child's parent's legal rights had not been terminated and the state was still pursuing reunification. During training, this type of adoption was consistently called foster-adopt. Anyway, the first child placed in my home was a legal risk adoption. The problem was that I didn't speak the language of DCFS. When I was contacted and asked whether or not I would accept the child, it was explained to me that my home was a "pre-adoptive" home. This is a code word meaning the state is schizophrenically attempting reunification while the child is already in an adoptive home. Ms. Roberts accurately described the problems that I observed.

• Parents involved with Child Protective Services are considered guilty until they can prove themselves innocent.


• Social workers make life changing decisions about child placements based upon their own bias and cultural beliefs rather than objectively applied standards.


• The "care" the family receives is generic and not based upon individual needs.


• In most cases, there is an underlying belief that children are better off in "loving" foster or adoptive homes than with their families.

Reunification is good for kids. Children want to live with their mom or dad. When that can't happen, they want to stay in contact with them. The children are angry. They may lash out. They probably won't appreciate the efforts to place them with more suitable parents. I couldn't help but think of all the kids who have been taken from their family of origin, abused and neglected while in foster care and then diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder. I suspect most of the kids treated by "Attachment Therapists" would have been better off in their family of origin. (For those unfamiliar with this diagnosis and the "therapy," Report of the APSAC Task Force on Attachment Therapy, Reactive Attachment Disorder, and Attachment Problems.)

Or you can watch:

I am parenting Marissa because the state found her mother incompetent to do so. I am parenting David and Beverly because their mothers live in poverty in Haiti, a country without any social services. This book forced me to contemplate, "Who is worthy of maintaining the right to parent their children?" It reminds me that I have been tremendously blessed with a real power that comes from being white and wealthy. It reaffirms my commitment to view the work Marissa's mom did trying to get her back as honorable, a sign of love, rather than wholly inadequate.

But, more than that, I wonder at why our society defines "good" parenting as having wealth and mental health. I don't have to go back very many generations in my own family's story to find people parenting in poverty or while suffering from mental illness, alcoholism and/or developmental disability. There are chapters in our story that include suicide, living in kwansit huts and babies sleeping in dresser drawers. My grandmother raised ten kids in a very tiny 3-bedroom home. Reunions with my husband's family include hearing, again, how the kids used to miss school to do farm work. These stories, rather than being hardships, are the stuff memories are made of. It is what binds us together. Yet, if the standards described in Shattered Bonds were applied to us... there but for the grace of God.

Hat Tip: Attachment Therapist Neil Feinberg Terrorizes 10-Year Old Adopted Boy

Related Post: Attachment Therapist “Three Feet Federici” Proves Able to Fool Some of the People All of the Time

Reimagining Disability in Late Modernity

I have quoted this post from Brandywine Books before. But it bears repeating before I start my review of Amos Yong's Theology and Down Syndrome: Reimagining Disability in Late Modernity

A book may be good for nothing; or there may be only one thing in it worth knowing; are we to read it all through? ~ Samuel Johnson (Why Read What You Don't Have To?)

I started this book more than a year ago. But, I put it down and had trouble picking it back up again. Well, prior to adding to my book collection, I felt morally, ethically, financially and in all other ways obligated to read the books I already own. So, I am working through the stack of books that I paid good money for and then failed to read or didn't finish.

Yong's book clearly divides into two parts. The first section I would give 5-stars and would suggest that everyone working with or caring for a person with a disability read. It is that good! Parts I and Part II present a biblical, historical and theoretical overview of not Down Syndrome, but of disability in general. This section is well researched, well referenced and thought provoking. I especially appreciated the author's thoughts on whether disabilities were medical problems that needed to be cured versus cultural problems that could be better accommodated.

"My argument so far can be summarized thus: whatever else disability is, it is also the experience of discrimination, marginalization, and exclusion from social, cultural, political and economic domains of human life; and part of the solution to disability is to overcome the barriers to full participation in these arenas. " (Page 97)

The final part of the book deals with theology: creation, providence, the Fall, theological anthropology, ecclesiology, soteriology, and eschatology. While reading Part III (and explaining why it took me more than a year to read a book), I lost interest. And frankly I believe the author excluded the very people he is trying to include during his discussion creation and the fall. He concludes that we need a new understanding of sin and the fall. He postulates that Adam rather than existing in time and space is really ha adam, a representation of the first self aware humans who suppress the truth and resist God. This understanding allows for million of years of evolution and, more specific to Down Syndrome, genetic mutations and variations. I suggest that the understanding of man as being in the image of God when he is rational and "self aware" may in fact mean that some people with severe disabilities may not qualify as "human" or as being made in the image of God. Finally, I think Yong's god is too little. Instead of an omnipotent God, Yong presents an omnicompassionate god who will, in the end, redeem all things.

Yong's thoughts on providence were better and reminded me of a quote I underlined in The Doors of the Sea. Hart was commenting on a story that appeared in the newspaper about a father who had lost 4 of his 5 children in the tsunami:

" Only a moral cretin at that moment would have attempted to soothe his anguish by assuring him that his children had died as a result of God's eternal, inscrutable, and righteous counsels, and that in fact their deaths had mysteriously served God's purposes in history, and that all of this was completely necessary for God to accomplish his ultimate design in having created the world."

Along the same vein, Yong was not quite as eloquent when he said, "From the standpoint of pastoral care, this means that we should never tell a person with a disability that his or her disability was ordained by God."

Whatever ground Yong gained in discussing providence paled to the painful journey through the rest of Part III. So, I suggest reading the first 150 pages of this book and then putting it down. If you want to learn theology, study the Bible, pray and be open to the mysteries of God. Some things we just aren't going to fully understand on this side of eternity.

Related Posts: A Call to Dig Deeper, A Little of This, Born Again or Just Well Born?

The Doors of the Sea

It is only the second week of January but I suspect The Doors of the Sea: Where Was God in the Tsunami? by David Bentley Hart will end up being one of the best books I have read this year.

Rather, my principle aim has simply been to elucidate -- as far as in my lies -- what I understand to be the true scriptural account of God's goodness, the shape of redemption, the nature of evil, and the conditions of the fallen world, not to convince anyone of its credibility, but simply to show where many of the arguments of Christianity's antagonists and champions alike fail to address what is most essential to the gospel. (page 93)

Contemplating abstract ideas about God, the universe, man, salvation and the cause of evil and suffering is never akin to reading a five and dime novel. This book is made more difficult by the author's style of writing. He never chooses to use a common word when an obscure, more precise word will do. If you love words, and I love words, this isn't necessarily a problem. Still, the book, at only one-hundred-four pages, takes a little longer to digest than one might expect. The ideas expressed in this book challenged me to think more deeply about the nature of God and the nature of man. One of the most intriguing paradigms presented by the author was whether salvation can be best explained by picturing man as a criminal who needs pardoned or a slave who needs emancipated. The Bible is replete with images of slavery and emancipation. And, what difference do these two ideas have in how I understand original sin.

When I closed the book, I was left with questions that kept my brain active for some time. This is precisely why I consider the book a great read. I am troubled when Christians insist that God causes evil -- evil that destroys innocent children -- to fulfill his purpose or to judge a nation. But, this idea is not without Biblical precedent, the story of Sodom and Gomorrah. It might be easy to believe that Abraham interpreted the destruction of the cities based upon his personal bias and comparable "piety." However, the story begins with a visit from three supernatural beings and continues with Abraham attempting to persuade God to change his mind. In The Doors of the Sea, the author dismisses God's role in the Tsunami. His understanding is very similar to CS Lewis' explanation of the world as being enemy occupied territory. Evil cannot originate from God; all evil is the result of living in a fallen world. The story of Sodom and Gomorrah doesn't seem to neatly fit in the author's explanation.

Finally, and beyond the scope of this book, I don't believe it is possible to interpret how God intervenes in history by looking only at disasters. As I reflected on the doctrinal position of the author, I began to wonder, "What about miracles?" Biblical, historical and personal stories seem to indicate that at times God does step in a miraculously alter the natural order of things. People are healed from illnesses. The Israelites were emancipated through a series of miracles culminating with the death of all Egyptian first born males, many of whom were also innocent children. And, why is it that some people experience miraculous, physical healings when others do not? The New Testament explains why Paul wasn't healed from his thorn in the flesh. But, isn't there a difference between not providing a miraculous healing to an adult who has willingly placed his faith in Christ and is working for the glory of the kingdom and not providing a healing for a child who is suffering from cancer? Or, closer to home, not protecting an infant in the womb from the ravages of prenatal exposure to alcohol?

As an adult I chose to believe in theism. I chose the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. I believe that Christ is His promised Messiah. I believe that God has revealed himself through prophets of Israel and through Christ (Hebrews 1:1, 2). Hart's argument would be be "whole" if I could dismiss the Tanakh, the Old Testament. I cannot. Christ tells us that the Law of Moses, the prophets, and the psalms prophecy about him (Luke 24:44). Paul asserts that the Jews were entrusted with the oracles of God. The Bereans were commended for looking for the truths of Christ by studying scripture. The exhortations of the New Testament church to study was a command to study the Tanakh; the New Testament didn't exist yet.

I am not asking these questions as a skeptic, but neither am I entirely comfortable or "ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you" to the problem of pain and suffering. I would like to have a cup of coffee with the author and continue to discuss the thoughts that envade and trouble my mind. I'd like to pick his brain. But, then I remember how often I had to stop and re-read a paragraph just so I could honestly say that I understood what the author was trying to communicate. I don't consider myself dim, but my brain does not always grasp ideas quickly. I am much more deliberate, reflective and slow in my thinking. In the end, I am sure Hart would be exasperated by me. Perhaps it is better that I leave my questions as mysteries; mysteries that only find comfort and rest in the miracle of First Fruits.

Hat Tip to Debbi who blogs at Deb on the Run for recommending this book to me.

A Family That Is Sick Together...

... lets Mama read!

Ron and I are both less than romantic. Christmas, birthday and anniversary gifts are not huge surprises. We have each started a wish list on Amazon and when the season comes, I sign in and purchase one of the items on his list. Both of our lists are full of books. So, that is what I get for gifts. It is inexpensive and easy. And, we both get what we truly want.

Being under-the-weather when I have a treasure trove of new books would have been no fun at all if everyone wasn't sleeping more, laying around watching movies and having down time of their own. This last several weeks is the first time since the kids moved in that I have had a great deal of time to devote to reading books that are not purchased in the children's section of the bookstore.

In Their Own Voices: Transracial Adoptees Tell Their Stories by Rita James Simon, Rhonda M. Roorda

Obviously, this book will appeal most to those families who have adopted transracially. The book tells the story of black and biracial adults who were raised in white families. This book wasn't exactly what I expected. Based upon the editorial on Amazon.com I was expecting a more scholarly presentation -- more like a descriptive research study. Instead, this is a more of a coffee-cup discussion between the authors and the individuals they interviewed. Each interview is unique and, while each touched on racial identity and how those were affected by growing up in a white family, it falls short of outlining individual and environmental differences that positively shaped each person's outcome. In fact, some of the people interviewed who told a story of growing up in an environment completely void of black peers and mentor and whose families did little to incorporate black history and culture in their childhood presented themselves as more comfortable with themselves as a black man or woman than those who grew up in more integrated neighborhoods. In the end, the authors attempt to draw conclusions from their interviews. In my opinion, their efforts are hindered by their method of data collection. Still, I have committed to raising adults who are secure in who they are. This book gives me insight into the adult lives of transracial adoptees.

"All the participants believe that transracial adoption served them well; all of them feel connected to their adoptive parents; and all, except one, support transracial adoption, but, with the strong recommendation that agencies and prospective parents recognize the importance of learning about their child's racial history and culture and make that history and culture a part of both their child's life and their family life."

The Warrior Method: A Parents' Guide to Rearing Healthy Black Boys by Raymond Winbush

Honestly, I struggled with this book. The author begins the book by outlining Destructive Black Male Behaviors and later outlines Child-Rearing Strategies. Both of these "lists" are dismissive of those who have different ideas than the author's. Finally, it seemed that on every page, I was met with a direct assault on my Worldview. One example:

"Black Way parents are rare. At the core of their child rearing methods is the belief that African-centered methods and values are the only choice in raising healthy black boys in America... Kwanzaa is given a place in their home, and its Nguzo Saba (Seven Principles) are valued throughout the year and taught to future generations."

According to Carlotta Morrow, The Truth About Kwanzaa, the word Kwanzaa is derived from the swahili phrase "matunda ya kwanza" which means first fruits. Anyone who has read this blog knows that our family already celebrates first fruits; Christ rose from the dead on the Feast of First Fruits. The book goes on to offer "sample" prayers to ancestors. It seems that by rejecting the dominant European culture of the United States, a black person must also reject Christianity.

Still, in the end I had to say that I appreciated the author's insight. He reiterated what those who have been transracially adopted had said; teach your child his history and culture -- do it on purpose.

The Lost Book of Enoch: Comprehensive Transliteration of the Forgotten Book of the Bible by Joseph B. Lumpkin

Jewish sages generally passed down a saying or tradition with the name of its originator. The name of the person quoted as the source is then used for dating the quote. Jude quotes the Book of Enoch.

It was also about these men that Enoch, in the seventh generation from Adam, prophesied, saying, "Behold, the Lord came with many thousands of His holy ones, to execute judgment upon all, and to convict all the ungodly of all their ungodly deeds which they have done in an ungodly way, and of all the harsh things which ungodly sinners have spoken against Him." ~ Jude 1:14-15

I have a self-inflicted goal. Every 5th book I read, I try to make sure it was written more than 100 years ago. I don't want my thinking stuck in 21st century America. This book predates Christianity. Copies of portions of it were found among the Dead Sea Scrolls. The book is included in the Canon of the Ethiopian Orthodox Church. It is quoted by many church fathers. The book contains the story of fallen angels, prophecy concerning The Elect One and detailed eschatology. The language and visions are reminiscent of the writings of Daniel and John the Revelator.

Perhaps some of what is recorded in the Book of Enoch was really spoken by Enoch and memorized and passed down orally from generation to generation. Still, as I was reading it, I had the sense that I was reading an ancient equivalent of the Left Behind series, a religious fiction story. Some ancient raconteur added names, stories and legends to the stories passed down through the Mikra, that which is read, and the Mishnah, that which is repeated -- the oral traditions. I began to wonder just how ancient the book was though. As I was reading it, one of the quotes that stood out to me was:

"Approach and hear my voice. Go and say to the Watchers of heaven, for whom you have come to intercede: 'You should intercede for men, and not men for you.'" ~1 Enoch 15:2

The Watchers that Enoch was interceding for were the sons of God, angels, who had left heaven and took the sons of man, humans, for their wives. Their offspring were the Nephilim. (Genesis 6) The Book of Enoch goes into great detail about this rather vague story in the beginning of the Bible. It names the leaders of the Watchers and goes into detail about their activities on earth. The Book of Enoch also goes into quite a bit of detail about the holy angels who remain faithful to God. When I was preparing to adopt Beverly and David, I read about Haitian Voodoo, a monotheistic religion -- a belief that insist that God be approached through spirit mediators. Could the Watchers and holy angels of Enoch be the foundation of the spiritual beings central to the beliefs of those in Western Africa? If we are to believe the story of Babel, it seems that the ancestors of these Africans would have had a memory of a monotheistic God and a spirit world.

Again, this story will not appeal to everyone. However, the book was well respected at the time of Christ and was known to the Early Chuch fathers. It tells us something of the beliefs and culture surrounding Christ. And, gives us insight into how some of Christ's sayings would have been interpreted by his audience. A good read, but not one that upset my world view.

Currently, I am reading The Doors of the Sea: Where Was God in the Tsunami? by David Bentley Hart. I have also joined a group on homeschooling moms at The Homeschool Lounge in reading The Excellent Wife: A Biblical Perspective by Martha Peace. This is my first attempt at a "Women's Bible Study." I generally prefer to study the Bible rather than books about the Bible. And, my preferred Bible study partner is Ron.

I am reading books written for adults -- I feel so grown up!