Gentle Traveler

Galileo's Daughter: A Historical Memoir of Science, Faith, and Love

2011-03-08T08:55:00.002-06:00

When my husband reads a book he thinks I should read, he leaves the book on my computer chair. It is his not so subtle way of saying, "You ought to read this book!" I found Dava Sobel's Galileo's Daughter: A Historical Memoir of Science, Faith, and Love on my chair one day. History should be told just like a story with an interesting plot, characters who aren't one dimensional -- very good or just plain evil and a setting in which the culture (and its impact on the story) are well defined. Galileo's Daughter is a good story from history.

Suor Maria Celeste Galilei's (Galileo's oldest daughter) story survives in letters she wrote to her father. Their relationship serves as a background to tell the story of Galileo's pursuit of science and the inquisition that determined he was a heretic for supporting Nicolai Copernicus' theory of a sun-centered universe.

"As to the first general question of Madama Cristina, it seems to me that it was most prudently propounded to you by her, and conceded and established by you, that Holy Scripture cannot err and the decrees therein contained are absolutely true and inviolable. I should only have added that, though Scriptures cannot err, its expounders and interpreters are liable to err in many ways... when they would base themselves always on the literal meaning of the words. For in this wise not only many contradictions would be apparent, but even grave heresies and blasphemies, since then it would be necesary to give God hands and fee and eyes and human and bodily emotions such as anger, regret, hatred, and sometimes forgetfulness of things past and ignorance of the future." (page 63) ~ Galileo in a letter to Benedetto Castelli discussing the subject of science and religion

After I finished the book, I added Dialogue Concerning the Two Chief World Systems, the book that got Galileo into so much trouble to my Amazon wishlist. According to Christopher Morley, "The real purpose of books is to trap the mind into doing its own thinking." Galileo's Daughter served that purpose; it ignited a desire to learn more.

The Covenanted Self

2011-03-07T12:23:00.101-06:00

I like to read with book darts! Before even beginning the first chapter, I line up twenty or so book darts at the back of the book where they will be handy when I want to mark a quote, highlight a main point or identify a section of text that I want to re-read. As a rule of thumb, the more book darts that I use while reading, the more I enjoyed the book. That wasn't the case with Walter Brueggemann's The Covenanted Self. The pages of this highly quotable book are simply littered with book darts. I didn't like it.

First the foundational understanding of God as other and our "othering" relationship is described using psychological theories based upon a relationship between a child and a mother -- essentially attachment theory. I am sure I have preconceived biases in this area; I am the parent of an anxiously attached adult. I have parented her through some very difficult relationship dynamics. I understand what it means to be too self-centered and too other-centered. I know the struggle of trying to create balance in a relationship. I believe I understood the author's intended message. The family dynamics explored by Brueggemann in this text was based upon research on interactions between mothers (primary caretakers) and young children. I would buy his argument if he was describing the relationship between the church and an individual. Yet, Kodesh Avinu, Holy Father, neither the Torah nor the writings of the Apostles ever teaches in a parable that describes God in a feminine role. Research on Father-Child bonding is relatively new. The relationship dynamics are not the same.

As I write this review, the Christian church is celebrating Lent. While today, the season is used to cleanse oneself in preparation of remembering Christ's Resurrection, even the Greek work Pascha hint to the truth that the Ancient Church remembered the Crucifixion of the Lamb. The Exodus imagery led me to study slavery during Lent last year. The books I read are reviewed on this blog.

Into such a context came the burning bush, Moses, and the possibility of rescue from slavery (Exod. 3:1-6). The break in the imperial command of bricks came from a God whose name they had not known (Exod. 3:13-15). Pharaoh did not know this challenging God (Exod. 5:2), nor did Israel, nor did even Moses. Yahweh (the best version of the name now give for God ) did not lie to this bondaged people. Yahweh never promised or even suggested autonomy as the outcome of the Exodus. From the beginning, Yahweh intended that Israel should be in "bondage" to the commands of Yahweh. From the first utterance, Yahweh had consistently said, "Let them go, and serve me" (5:1). Consistently, the governing verb is "serve" (abad), "enter into my service." Yahweh never said, "Let my people go that they may be autonomous," or "Let my people go that they may enjoy unmitigated freedom." "That they may serve me" means to come under a sovereign command. Thus the "freed slaves" have a freedom that is new servitude, under new commands and new demands. (Page 24)

The church in America, with their emphasis on simple salvation and fear of legalism has failed to teach this truth.We aren't freed from our bondage to sin that we can have unmitigated freedom. The Hebrew word abad is the word behind slave and servant. After salvation we are called to work and serve God as our master.

Obedience is the daily voice of faith because on all days, days of plenty and want, of richness and poverty, in sickness and in health, faith shows up as obedience. (page 29)

Early in the book, I had hoped that the author would clearly define what this looked like. But, he didn't. There is very little about personal holiness. Instead the author's political agenda is presented as the very heart of the gospel message. The Ten Commandments and the 613 mitzvot are Moses' attempt to set up a system to ensure compliance to a liberal socialist agenda. Israel failed but America doesn't have to. We just need to get on the vain train to create a better tomorrow, today.

In the end, I found nuggets of gold, real wisdom in this book; however, they were deeply buried and hard to mine.

The Star That Astonished the World

2011-01-25T09:04:00.005-06:00

Ancient philosophers studied the earth, water, air, fire and the heavens to help them make sense of their world. The first four elements were mutable, corrupt. They were a part of this world. The stars were something completely different. The fixed and "wandering" stars were predictable. They were made out of something unchangeable, something from the realms of the gods. In his book The Star That Astonished the World, Ernest L. Martin uses ancient astronomical events to pinpoint not only the Star of Bethlehem, but to ascertain the exact date of Christ's birth. He postulates that Christ's star was Jupiter, the King's Planet as it danced through the night sky from 3 to 2 BC forming conjunctions first with Venus and then with Regulus, the little king -- the brightest star in the constellation Leo. He supports his theory with historical research that touches on the Herod's death, Quirinius' census and Josephus' chronology. I found the presented history fascinating! For that reason alone, I think the book is worth reading.

A great sign appeared in the sky, a woman clothed with the sun, with the moon under her feet, and on her head a crown of twelve stars. ~ Revelations 12:1

Using this verse and ancient astrological charts, Martin theorizes that Christ, the Lion of Judah, was born on September 11, 3 BC. On that day, the sun was in position to "clothe" the constellation Virgo and the moon was positioned under her feet. In 3 BC, September 11 corresponded with Tishri 1, the Feast of Trumpet. Yom Teruah (the Day of Shouting), better known as Rosh Hashana (the head of the year), is the first month in the Hebrew secular calendar and the 7th month of the religious calendar. Do the shofar blasts herald the birth of the king? Traditionally, the first Adam is said to have been created, or born, on this day. Was the second Adam born on this day too? It was interesting to ponder. There was order that seem predestined and almost too coincidental to brush aside.

Our family attends a church which follows a traditional, Western calendar. We celebrate Christ's birth on December 25th. Because I also believe that Christ gave universal meaning to the feasts described in Leviticus 23, we celebrate those in our home too. Because our family "liturgy" includes these biblical feasts and I blog, I have met a lot people online who identify themselves as Torah observant, Messianic Christians or even Hebraic/Judeo-Christians. Some have become dear blog friends. Others, I wouldn't necessarily consider friendly. I have been accused of participating in pagan festivals for celebrating Christmas in December.

After hearing the king, they went their way; and the star, which they had seen in the east, went on before them until it came and stood over the place where the Child was. ~ Matthew 2:9

Because our planets travel at different speeds the Earth "laps" Jupiter. During that time, it appears as if Jupiter stops and then travels backwards for a time. Because of this retrograde motion, Jupiter does appear to stop in the sky. "And precisely on December 25, 2 BC, Jupiter 'stopped' in the abdomen of Virgo, the Virgin (in the middle of the constellation)." The toddler Jesus was no longer in a stable; he was in a home. According to Martin, the Magi, who like me were non-Jews, recognized the King of the Jews on December 25th. In 2 BC, Hanukkah began on December 23rd and continued eight days, ending on December 30. If he was born on September 11th, he was conceived in December. I believe life starts at conception. I think I will continue to celebrate with my church and family.

Introducing a New Favorite

2010-12-02T13:41:00.000-06:00

I have read two books, but I am overwhelmed by the idea of sitting down and reviewing them. I am beginning the process of tough love. So far, it has been toughest on me, the parent. But, I found a neat little, no longer active blog that I thought was still worthy of sharing on my book blog.

Your Home Library

... because I am always in need of book storage ideas!

The Unknown Sanctuary

2010-10-05T19:39:00.001-05:00

I have finished a book! It is hard to read when you find no joy in doing so. Life has been overwhelming. Reading, for a time, became obligation. Thinking deeply on any one topic became work. Life is more settled now. I hope that I can update this blog more frequently.

The Unknown Sanctuary: A Pilgrimage from Rome to Israel

Perhaps many people will find my choice of book odd -- an out of print autobiography by Aimé Pallière, a 19th century Frenchman who ideologically left Catholicism and became a Noahide. He continued to take the Eucharist and participate in the life of the Catholic church despite the fact that:

"Do you believe in the real Presence, in the Sacrament , as the Church teaches it to you? I asked myself, and with implacable clearness I was forced to answer: No, I do not believe it. Do you believe in the incarnation, in the divinity of of Christ? No, I no longer believe it. I had at that moment an absolute emptiness. I felt with a sudden and amazing clarity that nothing of my Christian faith remained. "

I have struggled with the concept of the Trinity. I heard a sermon recently in which the man sharing the gospel emphatically stated that Christianity only has one God, the Father. Then, there was confusing and convoluted logic about deity and divinity. I wondered how his explanation fit with the idea of the Theotokos, God-bearer. I wondered if this man like Aimé Pallière and myself has struggled to fit the trinity into their understanding of Shema Yisrael Adonai Eloheinu Adonai Eḥad - Hear, O Israel: the Lord is our God, the Lord is One!

I had hoped in this autobiography to find a way to balance my own understanding of God with the teaching of the church. I didn't find it in this book. In a church where the members believe and confess the real presence of Christ in communion, there is no way I could sit by and dishonor their beliefs by participating in their church in that way. I have attended a Protestant Church all my life, most recently, my family and I have been attending a Baptist church. Our church's communion is open to everyone who confesses Jesus and the elements are considered symbolic. I do take communion. I teach Sunday school to preschoolers. There isn't much of a chance that I will need to discuss abstract concepts like the Trinity to my class of 4 to 6-year-olds. I am most comfortable describing God as one God who has acted in three ways in history -- as Creator/Father, the Spirit who enlightens the world and in his incarnation as Christ. I found myself standing silent as the rest of the church sang, "God in three persons, blessed Trinity." I am not at home.

One of Aimé Pallière's contemporaries and confidantes was Père Hyacinthe. I suspect I would agree most with him when he said of Jesus:

The chief reason why the Jews do not accept Christianity is that the latter departed from its origins in creating a God of secondary importance, as Justin Martyr said. And little by little, after having made Jesus equal to the Heavenly Father, have we not practically substituted him for the Heavenly Father? As to Jesus, there is still a difference between us concerning him. If I mistake not, he occupies a minor place for you, and even in this place is subject to much criticism. For me, Jesus remains a mystery which I cannot explain to myself, but he also remains an object of admiration and of love. I know him by the footprints, incomplete though they may be, that he has left on history, and also by the poetic radiance of his person, in the legends of his birth and of his death. I know him again by the profound effect that this enigmatic being has exercised over me, throughout the course of my life, and above all, since my priesthood. In order to detach myself from him I must renounce my very self, and have torn from me a large part, not only of my feelings, but of my mind, I was almost about to say my very flesh and blood. This is why I am a Christian despite the many reservations that I make, not only regarding Catholicism, but regarding Christianity itself. If I am mistaken God will come to the help of my weakness and my integrity. If Loetmol [Aimé Pallière wrote under the pen name Loetmol] is right on the subjects on which we differ, though they do not divide us, he will obtain for me a ray of the Shekinah. The gods, said the ancients, give to men only the light as they need for each day.

For me, Jesus remains a mystery which I cannot explain to myself ~

Practical View of the Prevailing Religious System of Professed Christians in the Higher and Middle Classes in the Country Contrasted with Real Christianity

2010-06-09T00:00:00.003-05:00

While reading this book and researching a completely unrelated topic, I ran across the General Laws of the State of Minnesota that had been published in 1895.William Wilberforce wrote Practical View of the Prevailing Religious System of Professed Christians in the Higher and Middle Classes in the Country Contrasted with Real Christianity in 1829. It appears that the 50 years that separated these two books saw little change in publication standards for law texts. Wilberforce, a politician familiar and apparently comfortable with writing laws, used the exact same format to write this book. Truthfully, he could have used a good editor. The style of writing detracts from the over all message of the book and a book that could have been great and timeless is made mediocre. Wilberforce's arguments are unnecessarily wordy and poorly written.

This is a worldview book. And, despite being hard to read, I found myself interested in knowing what Wilberforce believed to be true about God, the world around us, humanity, death, evil and suffering, right and wrong and human history. It gives the reader a clue into the heart of the politician, philanthropist and abolitionist.

Apparently, there were many nominal Christians -- Christians who had an inadequate view of God, an inadequate understanding of their own guilt and whose lives did not reflect God's power. I was well into the book when I concluded that this treatise could have been written by some modern day church leader. Many of the conclusions and arguments are true today; I have complained about many of the same things. So, I was amused to read this about dueling:

But, it seems hardly to have been enough noticed in what chiefly consists its essential guilt; that is is a deliberate preference of the favour of men, before the favour and approbation of God, in articulo mortis, in an instance, wherein our own life, and that of a fellow creature are at stake, and wherein we run the risk of rushing into the presence of our Maker in the very act of offending him. (page 174)

That certainly doesn't fit into my thoughts about this book being timeless! It seems there wasn't a golden age of Christianity. The problems facing the church today aren't a new; there is nothing new under the sun.

So, what motivated Wilberforce?

He had a relatively high view of man. While Wilberforce recognized man as having "fallen from his high original, degraded in his nature, and depraved of his faculties," he also states:

Examine first with attention, the natural powers and faculties of man; invention, reason, judgment, memory; a mind "of large discourse," "looking before and after," reviewing the past, thence determining for the present, and anticipating the future; discerning, collecting, combining, comparing; capable, not merely of apprehending, but of admiring the beauty of moral excellence: with fear and hope to warn and animate; with joy and sorrow to solace and soften; with love to attach, with sympathy to harmonize, with courage to attempt, with patience to endure, and with the power of conscience, that faithful monitor within the breast to enforce the conclusions of reason, and direct and regulate the passions of the soul. Truly, we must pronounce him majestic though in ruin.(page 22)

His salvation theology wouldn't have fit neatly into the grace-based, sloppy agape, say and pray and be saved salvation that is taught in many evangelical churches:

Again we see throughout, in the system which we have been describing, a most inadequate conception of the difficulty of becoming true Christians; and an utter forgetfulness of its being the great business of our life to secure our admission into Heaven, and to prepare our hearts for its service and enjoyments. The general notion appears to be, that, if born in a country of which Christianity is the established religion, we are born Christians. We do not therefore look out for positive evidence of our really being of that number; but putting the onus probandi (if it may be so expressed) on the wrong side, we conceive ourselves such of course, except our title be disproved by positive evidence to the contrary. (page 231)

Not For Sale: The Return of the Global Slave Trade -- and How We Can Fight It

2010-04-06T22:55:00.000-05:00

"When I heard these things, I sat down and wept. For some days I mourned and fasted and prayed before the God of heaven. Then I said: 'O LORD, God of heaven, the great and awesome God, who keeps his covenant of love with those who love him and obey his commands, let your ear be attentive and your eyes open to hear the prayer your servant is praying before you day and night for your servants, the people of Israel. I confess the sins we Israelites, including myself and my father's house, have committed against you. We have acted very wickedly toward you. We have not obeyed the commands, decrees and laws you gave your servant Moses.'" (Nehemiah 1:5-7)

Not For Sale: The Return of the Global Slave Trade -- and How We Can Fight It by David Batstone tells the story of modern slavery through first person accounts of horror and degradation. Oh, that we could all be like Nehemiah! Upon reading these stories, we would sit down, weep and mourn for several days. We would fast, pray and confess our corporate sins; we have not valued human life. We do not view and treat each person as the crowning glory of God's creation -- image bearers. Then we would act.

I chose this book to read during the preparation time for Pesach/Pascha/Easter. I realize that season has come and gone. I am not quite finished with my reading. I put more books on my reading list than I had time to read! I am a Christian who has traded in bunnies, bonnets and dyed eggs for a Passover Seder. During this season of preparation, I chose to focus on slavery. I cannot tell the Passover story without using the word slave. The original Passover is the story of how God heard the afflictions of the Hebrews in bondage in Egypt and miraculously their freedom. The Passover in Jerusalem is the story of how God heard the afflictions of mankind in bondage to sin and death and miraculously freed us.

The ancients understood slavery in a way I do not. Slavery is illegal and hidden. I read this book to better understand what slavery is. Although the author makes reference to several Christian individuals and groups who act as modern abolitionists, the book is mostly secular. Still, this book, more than any of the other books I read, has acted as a catalyst to thinking differently about the Passover story. In each chapter, Batstone tells the story of a slave, their owner and the person or group who is responsible for helping the slave find freedom. It is an excellent book.

As I read through this book in light of Passover, this book opened my eyes to two distinct spiritual truths.

First, the Bible teaches that like the Israelites awaiting the Passover in Egypt, we are born into slavery.

"When the matriarch of the family was asked, where she was from originally, she gave a puzzled look and replied, 'The rice mill.' She explained that her father had been pressed into labor when he was in his twenties, so she had worked in the rice mill her entire life. She raised her own children as laborers in the same mill." (page 92)

We are born into slavery and we don't know how to live as free men.

The story of the Passover in Egypt is dramatic and fully reveals the power of God. The story of the Passover in Jerusalem, the death of Christ - the Lamb of God, motivates even nominal Christians to go to church once a year to worship. The stories begin in degradation and end in praise. All of us want to be rescued. Sadly, the Christian community as a whole doesn't value "aftercare" nearly as much. International Justice Mission defines victim aftercare as, "access to material, emotional, and spiritual aid that can help them transition into new lives that they can sustain long into the future." (page 85)

I think God is smart enough to figure this out. Aftercare is what Pentacost, the giving of the Torah and the descent of the Holy Spirit is about. It was what the forty years of desert wandering provided for the Israelites; it taught them to be free. Halakhah, the rules that define our religious traditions are not legalistic. They are designed to spiritualize even the most mundane parts of our day making our life an act of worship and a daily reminder of who we are.

The book mentions other groups involved in the modern abolitionist movement. They are listed here for those interested in learning more about what you can do to fight slavery.

The Life of Olaudah Equiano

2010-03-12T08:01:00.003-06:00

The 2006 film Amazing Grace contains the following dialogue:

Barbara Spooner Wilberforce: I met the African.
William Wilberforce: Equiano.
Barbara Spooner Wilberforce: He came to town with a hundred copies of his book. They sold in an hour.

The book being spoken of is The Life of Olaudah Equiano, a slave narrative.

This may seem like an odd choice for my Lenten reading. Bradshaw and Hoffman's Passover and Easter: Origin and History to Modern Times postulated that after the destruction of the Jewish temple in 70 AD, two Passover narratives emerged, one Christian and the other Jewish. The Christian story evolved into what is today Easter. The understanding that Christ is our Passover seems to have been lost in the Western church. In my past, the Paschal mystery was not at the heart of the Christian story. Christmas, Santa Claus and consumerism replaced Christ's passion. As an adult, I have sought to change my focus. My family celebrates Passover, the preparatory period before Passover, and the count down toward Pentecost.

Each year as I prepare for Pentecost, I make reading selections to teach me spiritual truths. One year I focused on leavened and unleavened bread. Another year I read the church fathers. This year, I am immersing myself into understanding the concept of slavery. Because, the truth is, I don't know that I have ever come to a point where I understand myself as a slave to sin or a slave to God. I rarely hold a mirror up and gaze at the ugliness of my heart. I don't understand what it means to be a slave to God. I only understand slavery in a negative sense. What does it look like to have a benevolent master? And what does it mean to be a faithful servant?

Equiano was born in the Republic of Benin in West Africa. He was kidnapped and forced into domestic slavery as a young boy. After a time, he was brought to the coast where he encountered white men for the first time. He was sold to slave traders and later bought his freedom. His story humanized the African slaves and assisted the abolitionists cause.

One of the first things that caught my eye when I read this book was Equiano's description of the religion on his youth, Vodun. My children are Haitians living in diaspora. They were adopted and brought to the United States. Some conservative Christians openly voiced their belief that Haiti's recent earthquake was a punishment from God; Haitians are cursed because supposedly their ancestors made a pact with the devil. In my rebuttal, I pointed out the similarities between the West African monotheistic religions and ancient Judaism.

And, here I cannot forbear suggesting what has long struck me very forcibly, namely, the strong analogy, which, even by this sketch, imperfect as it is, appears to prevail in the manner and customs of my countrymen and those of the Jews, before they reached the Land of Promise, and particularly the Patriarchs, while they were yet in that pastoral state which is described in Genesis -- an analogy which alone would induce me to think that the one people had sprung from the other.

And, I was struck by Equiano's understanding of Romans 8:28. Oh for eyes that see.

Now every leading providential circumstance that happened to me from the day I was taken from my parents to that hour, was then, in my view, as if it had but just then occurred. I was sensible of the invisible hand of God, which guided and protected me, when in truth I knew it not: still the Lord pursued me, although I slighted and disregarded it; this mercy melted me down. When I considered my poor wretched state, I wept, seeing what a great debtor I was to sovereign free grace.

Oh, and the actor who played Equiano in Amazing Grace is an amazing vocalist!

Passover and Easter: Origin and History to Modern Times

2010-03-09T21:06:00.000-06:00

As an adult I have tried to reclaim Pesach/Pascha/Easter as the very heart of my religious year. I attend a non-liturgical church. When Eastern, Western and Messianic Christians were following Christ to his Passion, our church began a a capital campaign, a kick-off to a new building project. I am a novice when it comes to church liturgy, church calendars and sacred times. Passover and Easter: Origin and History to Modern Times by Paul Bradshaw and Lawrence A. Hoffman is an very good resource for those interested in looking back to ancient traditions of the church to influence how they live out their faith.

Until I was in Junior High School, I grew up in a home that was marginally Christian. My mom identified herself as Lutheran Home. My father was Episcopalian. I don't remember going to church except on religious holidays. I understood that Easter was related to the Christ story. Still, Easter mostly meant bunnies, new dresses, visits to relative's homes, candy and colored eggs.

While in the Catholic tradition the rites belonging to this season had undergone major mutations, in the Protestant Reformation of the sixteenth century they were almost entirely swept away, as part of the Reformers' general rejection on the use of all ceremonies in worship that were at best not understood by ordinary people and at worst interpreted in a highly superstitious manner. All that were usually left were the names for the more significant days together with the traditional biblical readings belonging to them. Special liturgies as such tended to disappear entirely: thus, ash was not used on Ash Wednesday, nor palms on Palm Sunday, and the Easter vigil vanished completely from sight, leaving Easter Day much like any other Sunday of the year. (page 5)

I am continuing to learn how to ensure that the paschal mystery, which this book defines as, "the incarnation, passion, resurrection and glorification of Christ, and the sending of his Spirit" remain the center of our family's eternal hope.

I was a little disappointed in that I felt Christian was used to define primarily Western Christianity. There was very little of the book related to the liturgy and traditions of the Eastern church. And, I do not believe the last supper was a Passover Seder and I do not believe there is a discrepancy between the synoptic gospels and John. In my opinion traditional calendarization of the Great and Holy Week misinterprets Jewish traditions.

I believe Christ's triumphal entry occurred on Sunday, Nisan 10; the same day the Passover lambs were chosen (Exodus 12:3).
The Jewish day starts at sunset. On Wednesday at sunset, the beginning of Nisan 14, I believe that Christ shared a festive meal with his disciples. Today, this day is traditionally kept as a Fast of the Firstborn. However, even today the fast can be broken to celebrate the completion of study.
Thursday, Nisan 14, when the passover lambs were being slaughtered, Christ was crucified. Friday, Nisan 15, is the day that the Passover Seder is traditionally eaten. In Rabbinic Judaism, the Omer Count is started on Nisan 16. Leviticus 23:15-16 lays out the instructions for counting the omer, "from the morrow of the sabbath." Nisan 15 is treated as a Sabbath. Saturday, Nisan 16, would have been the regular weekly Sabbath.
Christ died on Sunday, Nisan 17. Did you know that Nisan 17 is the day the ark rested? It is also the day the Israelites crossed the Red Sea and entered the promise land. Salvation is finished.

While the author's assumptions and narrative did nothing to disprove what I believe to be true about Christ's last week, neither did they discuss the possibility of a crucifixion occurring on a day besides Friday.

This Blog Has Not Been Abandoned

2010-03-09T13:46:00.002-06:00

I will be blogging here soon. I think anyone who reads here regularly knows that situations in my home are stealing my joy. I have not even been able to find escape in books. But, I have developed the habit of reading books during the time leading up to Pesach/Pascha/Easter that help me understand the Passion of Christ. This year, I am again following Christ to his crucifixion, resurrection and glorification; I am healing.

I have started my next entry. But, my children told me that I had to "quit blogging and feed [my] kids or lest we'll die!" So, I will finish later.

Gold in the Grass

2009-10-26T06:34:00.008-05:00

As World War II comes to an end, an injured Canadian veteran and his nurse fall in love, marry and purchase a worn out, run down 100 acre farm near Ontario; they dream of a quiet country life. Gold in the Grass: Rags to Riches Through Soil Reclamation and Sustainable Farming - A Back-to-the-Land Adventure from 1954 by Margaret L Leatherbarrow is their story. While their neighbors are making bets as to how long they will last, they transform a non-producing farm into their private Utopia using sustainable agriculture. It is a heartwarming story. I would have never picked it up. My husband purchased it. His review is here.

In my opinion, this book fails as a how-to book. It isn't written as a manual. It is an autobiography written by a woman passionate about the life she and her husband built together. What kept me reading was Leatherbarrow's wisdom. I felt like I was reading a book written by an older woman who was sharing a lifetime of knowledge. I was surprised when I got to the last page of the book. The book was written only 7 years after she and her husband began her adventure. Leatherbarrow must have still been fairly young. Much younger than I am now.

Yet, she has something to say about:

God:

"God said I am the Truth. He did not say I am what you choose to believe." (page 68)

It would e more correct to say Jesus said I am the Truth (John:6). Most Christians would recognize this as one of the "I AM" assertions of Christ. But, I believe Jesus is God incarnate, I fully agree with her assessment. A real God has real attributes and power. His activities are just as real. When I choose to make him little enough to fit in my brain or to my agenda, his attributes do not change to fit my mind picture. I am just not nearly powerful enough to control who and what God is. It is my responsibility to get to know the real God.

Human Nature: Early in their adventure, while still struggling, seasoned farmers refused to share their knowledge with them. Leatherbarrow writes:

"The secretiveness borne of greed, a common trait of man all through our civilization, keeps us grovelling like the miserable creatures our greed has made us become. We war with one another, be it the individual or the entire race, having lost faith to such an extent we can't trust one another any more. In church we pray for blessings individually. In or homes we seek the comforts we desire with no care for the individual or community good. We will take ever by force, yet give nothing." (page 128)

Disability Acceptance:

"There is no point in attempting something you are not physically capable of accomplishing. A healthy individual is one who, recognizing this handicap, accepts it and works according to his ability, not focing himself to do what is impossible, just because he'd like to be able to do it." (page 168)

It was her shared wisdom that made the book worth reading. My husband gave the book 5-stars. I would not. My rating scheme doesn't make allowances for giving every book a 5-star rating. That rating is saved for those books whose content makes me think about something a new way and changes who I am. Gold in the Grass did not. Neither would I give it 4-stars. In my economy this is a three star book, a book I would recommend you bring to read while you lie in the sun, wait for your car to be repaired, recover from surgery or escape from the stressors of your real life. A book that is entirely delightful but not life changing.

A Prayer to Our Father

2009-10-14T07:12:00.010-05:00

When I read Meet the Rabbis: Rabbinic Thought and the Teachings of Jesus by Brad H. Young, I was introduced to the idea that the prayer Jesus taught his disciples, commonly called the Lord's Prayer, was very much like the prayer that ancient teachers of Judaism taught their students. I had read the Shemoneh Esreh and noted that, like the Lord's Prayer, it starts and ends with prais and worship. The Shemoneh Esreh also contains prayers surrendering to God's as King, requests for God's provision and care, prayers asking for forgiveness and guidance. This ancient Jewish prayer is indeed very much like the Lord's Prayer.

I thought that Prayer To Our Father: Hebrew Origins of the Lord's Prayer by Nehemia Gordon and Keith Johnson would complete or at least add to my initial investigation into the Jewishness Lord's Prayer. And, I was right. But, it did it in an entirely different way. Nehemiah Gordon is a Karaite Jew. For those unfamiliar with Karaitism, just think of them as Jewish men and women who have fully embraced the sola scriptura. Arguments about the value and place for traditions of man are not the sole property of the Western Church. Because Gordon is a scripturalist, the book focused on words, the history of words, and putting those words in the culture of the ancient Jewish man and woman. I love words!

"Matthew composed his history in the Hebrew dialect, and everyone translated it as he was able." ~ Papias of Hierapolis

St. Jerome testified that the Nazarenes used a Hebrew Matthew as late as the 4th century. Gordon and Johnson argue that the Shem Tov Matthew descended from one of these ancient Hebrew documents (rather than being translated into Hebrew from a Greek source). They then go on to analyze each phrase in the Lord's Prayer, or the Avinu (Our Father) Prayer. The style of writing is autobiographical. And, for those interested, there of photos on facebook of the sites that the authors visited in Israel while researching the book.

Our Father in Heaven.

May your name be sanctified.

May your kingdom be blessed.

Your will shall be done in heaven and on earth.

Give us our bread continually/daily

Forgive us the debt of our sins as we forgive the debt of those who sin against us.

Do not bring us into the hands of a test,

and protect us from all evil.

Amen.

This is an excellent book; I highly recommend it.

A Lion Among Men

2009-09-21T16:19:00.011-05:00

"The real purpose of books is to trap the mind into doing its own thinking." ~ Christopher Morley

I was disappointed in this book. I had hoped to learn more about what happened next... instead, I read the Cowardly Lion's back story.

Do you agree with the quote above? As an adult, I know I have deliberately used books to trap my mind into doing its own thinking. But, that is hardly the story of my life. I liked and indulged in a lot of fantasy books. I still do. I wasn't always a careful reader. Instead of thinking about what I was reading, I let the author's ideas teach me. When a story's characters, setting, and plot are pure fantasy, it is easy to just enjoy the story and not think too deeply about what is being said. The more fantastical the story, the easier it is not to think seriously about its contents. A Lion Among Men is a story that contains talking Lions, witches, magic books and is said to take place in a place that exists somewhere over the rainbow, Oz. It would be easy to thoughtlessly enjoy the books.

But, like the rest of the stories in this series, A Lion Among Men isn't purely fantasy. There is political posturing, wars and rumors of wars, ethical dilemmas, cultures and conflicts. The author's purpose in writing this series seems to be to educate his readers about the nature of evil, racism, class-ism and religious tolerance. He discusses the nature of man:

"We start out in identical perfection: bright, reflective, full of sun. The accident of our lives bruises us into dirty individuality. We meet with grief. Our character dulls and tarnishes. We meet with guilt. We know, we know: the price of living is corruption. There isn't as much light as there once was. In the grave we lapse back into undifferentiated sameness." (page 8)

In one short quote, the author has "taught" us something about what he believes to be true about the nature of man, the cause of evil and suffering the purpose of history and what happens to man after death. In the vehicle of a fantasy story, I doubt many readers critically examine whether or not the author is right. Does his thoughts agree with my thoughts? If not, upon what do I base my beliefs? Does what we observe about human nature, the behaviors of our own children, significantly agree with the author is asserting? Is my foundation sure?

I recently had a commenter write:

Those people who preface their remarks with, "Well, I'm a Christian and I think..." are officious and repugnant. What they're really saying is "I am worthier than you. My opinions carry more weight because I invoke the name of Christ."

I didn't approve the comment. I have a copy of the words in an email that was automatically sent to let me know someone had stopped by my blog. The same commenter left a series of negative comment on my blog. They all came from the same IP Address. In every case the commenter left a different name. So, I guess the comment was anonymous. There are a lot of very good reasons to write under an assumed name, including Internet privacy. But, if one is to assume a nom de plume, assume the same one. Did the commenter not believe enough in her words to stand behind them?

I do not mind people respectfully disagreeing with me, but the comment didn't add to the discussion. It was mostly just an indictment of me and my beliefs. But...

Well, I am a Christian and I think. I think a lot. Of the nature of man? My Bible, the foundation upon which I determine truth, teaches me that all humans are the crowning glory of God's creation, image-bearers. I am not worthier than you. When I preface my thoughts, it is only because I am communicating the tool I use for determining truth. Gregory Maguire is right, we start identical at birth, but it is our own nature that dulls and tarnishes our character. My history is not an accident; it is part of a divine plan. There is a pure light. It hasn't dulled, become distant or been extinguished. I just don't always choose to walk in it. And, I don't have any intention of spending eternity as an undifferentiated sameness. I don't have any intention of spending eternity as a disembodies spirit either. I plan on being bodily resurrected and spending eternity on this glorious, re-created Earth.

I challenge everyone, Christian or not, to read books thoughtfully.

Wicked

2009-09-14T20:45:00.013-05:00

Readers, I have the feeling we're not in Oz anymore!

I will begin my review of Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West with a slight disclaimer. I am already irritated. I had been wanting to read this book series for quite some time. My oldest daughter obsesses over musicals and had downloaded some of the music from the musical. I was intrigued by the idea behind the book. Every story has two sides, Wicked tells the story of Oz from the point of view of the Wicked Witch of the West, Elphaba. The story is told well. So, why am I annoyed? Well, I had waited and waited until I learned the last book of what I thought was a trilogy was released. I hate waiting until the end of the story! I like to be able to set one book down and immediately pick up the next book. I am one of those irritating people who sometimes reads the very last chapter of the book first. Apparently, the story isn't tied up and put to bed after the third book. There are rumors that there might be a fourth book. Annoying!

This book's plots, its twists and turns and moralizing intrigued me. In fact, as soon as I finished reading it I went to the library to check out the next book in the series, Son of Witch. The themes of the books are related to the nature of evil, the fallibility of man (or beast as some of the Animals in the book talk), discrimination, marginalization, politics, betrayals and courage. These themes are woven into the fabric of the story and result in a meaningful story. Religion plays a central role in the book. When I read of the Unnamed God, I couldn't help but see parallels to Hashem, the Name. The word used to identify the God of Judaism. The God I believe came to Earth as the man Jesus. I don't know what Maguire's religious beliefs are, but I know what he thinks of Christians and Christianity. For the most part followers of the Unnamed God are presented as imbeciles at best. Powerful followers are hypocritical tyrants. Organized religion, far from being a vehicle of salvation, is presented as a means of oppression. Frankly, there are days I cannot muster the strength to argue this point. History records violence, wars and bloodshed all done in the name of Hashem. So many people who identify with Christianity have aligned themselves with the political extreme right and endorse laws decidedly aimed at creating a Christian Utopia. We are no longer known by our love but our politics.

Unlike the The Chronicle of the Imaginarium Geographica by James A. Owen whose books each stand alone as its own story, the books in the Wicked Years do not end when the last page is finished. There were unanswered questions from Wicked that were answered in Son of a Witch. Son of a Witch ended in a cliff hanger. The next book in the series is A Lion Among Men. The librarian put me on a waiting list. And, the fourth book? Unwritten. Unpublished. Not even a hint of a release date. I prefer, much prefer, an ending.

I suspect that many, if not most, of the people who read here identify themselves as Christian. I would guess that many of you homeschool too and might be looking for literature for your children. While this book could indeed be used as a basis for talking about worldviews or even to encourage your child to think about how Maguire's Oz is the different or the same as L. Frank Baum's Oz, I will leave you with a word of caution. If books had a rating system like the movies do, the Wicked Years would come with a parental advisory. There are explicitly described sex scenes, infidelity, drug and alcohol use. There is even an odd scene in which several characters have sex with a talking Tiger in a club while the rest of the patrons watch. The scene is not glorified at all. In fact one of the participants is driven to the brinks of insanity. It is his failing health that reintroduces him to Elphaba. It is through his influence that Elphaba begins to move forward from a traumatic event in her own life. So, while there seems to be a peripheral weirdness to having included a scene depicting bestiality, I suspect there are other ways the author could have brought the two characters together again. The same event also gives us a clue as to the nature of an odd crone who seems bent on protecting or destroying Elphaba (I haven't decided which. She is just around somewhere at every crucial juncture. Her presence is one of the story lines that is so far left unexplained.) Overall, with the exception of those sexual encounters that resulted in the birth of a main character, unless the purpose was to shock and repel readers, I didn't see the point. The book could have stood well without so many adult scenes, too bad really.

Not Letting Go

2009-08-20T10:33:00.013-05:00

I have not given up on this blog. I simply did not have time to blog here last month. My oldest daughter has fetal alcohol syndrome. Like 94% of the people living on the spectrum, she is mentally ill. When she has a stable environment, adequate supervision, structure, routine and medications, she can be mostly stable. My daughter has not been stable this month. She was hospitalized on a locked adolescent psychiatric unit. Not every hospital has one of those. She was over 2 hours away. I drove to visit her, participate in family counseling and take her out on pass several times a week. I got home late, slept little.

I didn't get any reading done. Though I didn't have time or energy needed to read and digest a book, I didn't allow my mind to be uninspired. Luckily we live in a day and age in which there are other forms of media that can inspire us to think more clearly and live better lives.

When I realized I would be spending an enormous amount of time in my car, I headed for the library for a book on tape. I ended up checking out the audiobook Lessons of History by Will and Ariel Durant. Fascinating! Because I am a Christian, I try to build my worldview on the Bible. I believe it is the inspired word of God. At best the Durants were agnostic. Their worldview, or philosophy of life, was built on history. At some point the authors address all the major worldview questions including:

What is prime reality (God, gods, material universe)?
What is the nature of our external reality/the world around us?
What is a human being?
What happens to a person at death?
What is the cause of evil and suffering?
How do we know what is right and wrong?
What is the meaning of human history?

There was a part of the tape that seemed to attack one of my core values. The Declaration of Independence asserts, "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal." Durant argues that we are not equal, nature loves inequality. He further asserted that freedom and equality cannot coexist. When I was young, I would have described myself politically as an anarcho-capitalist. I am still no fan of big government, but parenting a child with a developmental disability has made me re-think my political views.

"I wanted to understand why I could take my dreams and connect them to reality and make my dreams come true. What was different about my brother's brain such that he could not connect his dreams to a common reality and the instead became delusions?" ~ Jill Bolte Taylor in My Stroke of Insight (page 2)

My daughter was not created equal. While the US may be able to provide her equal access to education and training, she will not be able to utilize it to develop her talents or to pursue happiness. Counting on charity to assist her as an adult is unrealistic. Church-based organizations tend to see her behaviors as a sign of a sinful, unrepentant heart. Rather than helped by the church, she (and my ability to parent her) have been judged. Even secularist believe that she should just make better choices. There are times I want to tell her to just snap out of it. I have learned after years of being her primary caretaker that she cannot. Even the things she wants most in life, things she is motivated to get, are out of reach. I am no longer clear as to what I believe the role of "good" government should be. I don't know what I want it to do and what I don't want it to do. I still understand that government resources are scarce. I don't lose sleep over it, but neither do I believe a trillion dollar national debt is good for our country. I don't want to encourage an atmosphere of entitlements. Still, I know that as an adult my daughter will struggle to meet her basic needs. I would rather subsidize housing and provide job training and support to those people with demonstrated difficulty in adapting to our cultural expectations than some of the other things the government chooses to spend its money on.

In addition to the text of the book, the CD includes interviews with the Durants. I don't know if Ariel Durant was declining at the time of the interview or if she was just sitting back and allowing her husband to stand in the limelight. She talks very little. But, I was amused whenever she spoke up. I suspect she acted as her husband's gadfly throughout their entire marriage.

Then, after my daughter came home, she insisted that we watch a movie that she had seen while in the hospital. We rented The Boy in Striped Pajamas, the tale of an unlikely friendship between two 8-year old boys. One is the son of a commandant in a World War II concentration camp; the other is a young Jewish boy. The story ends in tragedy. I enjoyed this movie; however, I couldn't help but wonder if the book is not better. I found that some of the characters seemed poorly developed. Their back stories were left untold. I may have to read this book.

Finally, I rented a French documentary called Her Name is Sabine, the story of a woman with autism. I am not sure this film would have had the impact on me had it not been for my daughter's recent hospitalization. The video shows Sabine's life in her group home today intermixed with flashbacks to her life as a young woman. Her condition has obviously and tragically deteriorated. My daughter doesn't have autism, but many of her behaviors mimic those of people on the autism spectrum of disorders. The home movies of a young Sabine show a woman who is functional and talented. My daughter has days like that. But, those days get mixed up with days where anxiety, an altered mood and unclear thought processes result in odd and sometimes dangerous behaviors. As a mother, the days I chose to make a written record or a photographic memory are the good days. I wondered how functional Sabine really was a young woman. Having a video crew tape your every move obviously interferes with Sabine's normal, daily structure. I wondered how dysfunctional Sabine really is as an adult.

Sabine currently has a lot of tremors and she drools. While she was in the hospital, my daughter was started on Abilify to help control her moods. The first time I saw her after this drug was started I cried all the way home. She had tremors; she was drooling. Her gait was slow and deliberate. She looked almost like a toddler who had just learned to walk and had to think through how to accomplish that feat. This side effect is somewhat better. Before she came home, I talked with the staff at the hospital about my concerns. The medication time was changed so that it is now given at night. My daughter is asleep when the medication is first absorbed and the blood level of the drug is at its peak. She has another medication she can take to control the side effects when needed.

My daughter sees herself differently since the hospitalization. She identifies herself as a mentally ill person in need of help. Her fetal alcohol syndrome and mental illness have become a cave in which she can escape to and hide. She was hospitalized after a suicide attempt. She took a Tylenol overdose. I felt like I needed to get her help. But, my actions have caused a change. She is emotionally scarred. I wonder if I did the right thing. She didn't take enough Tylenol to cause any liver damage. Could I have taken her home and increased my supervision of her? Locked up all the medicine in our home? I might have done this if she was younger. She will be an adult in 6 months. I knew I couldn't protect her forever. This fall, I have enrolled my daughter in a Day Treatment School. She will be surrounded by peers with emotional and behavioral problems. What will she learn from her peer group?

Lori at When the Taptap's Movin' wrote a blog entry that has been stuck in my mind. The entry tells the tale of a boy whose father must rescue him from a hungry crocodile. It ends with a reporter asking to see the scars. "Then, with obvious pride, he said to the reporter, 'But look at my arms. I have great scars on my arms, too. I have them because my Dad wouldn't let go.'"

I am not planning to let go. Is there a way I can attenuate the harm done by "therapy?"

My Stroke of Insight: A Brain Scientist's Personal Journey

2009-07-06T12:54:00.011-05:00

After watching Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor's TED video and learning that she had a book, I looked forward to reading My Stroke of Insight: A Brain Scientist's Personal Journey. I remained excited as I read the introduction, "Every brain has a story and this is mine." As the parent of a child with a developmental disability secondary to prenatal exposure to alcohol and a masters prepared Critical Care Clinical Nurse Specialist, I am kind of into the story of brains. Perhaps my excitement and expectations led me to have too high expectations of this book and contributed to my being disappointed by the book itself.

Jill Bolte Taylor experienced a hemorrhagic stroke in 1996. The book details her experience of becoming dysfunctional and her eventual recovery. Although the author clearly states that she perceives herself as a "single entity with a single mind," most of the book describes the person she became when the left hemisphere of her brain wasn't working, a person unique and wholly different from the person she was pre-stroke.

I am a fan of the original Star Trek series. As I read this book, I couldn't help but think about an episode from Star Trek. In it Captain Kirk is transported back to the ship. The transporter malfunctions and instead of one Captain Kirk, there are two. One is analytical, cold and calculating; the other lived in his right mind. Neither captain could function long in the absence of the other. The brain works best when the right and left hemisphere work together.

The author presents her time in her right mind as a gift. She is almost evangelical in her zeal to describe the pantheistic Utopia she perceived after her stoke. It is, in my opinion, unfortunate that this worldview was presented in the context of a brain scientist talking about her stroke. Anatomy, physiology, pathophysiology and New Age spiritualism are all presented as facts that can be proven by delving deep enough into the human brain.

To the right mind, no time exists other than the present moment, and each moment is vibrant with sensation. Life or death occurs in the present moment. The experience of joy happens in the present moment. Our perception and experience of connection with something that is greater than ourselves occurs in the present moment. To our right mind, the moment of now is timeless and abundant. (page 29)

And again:

In the absence of all the rules and regulations that have already been defined as the correct way of doing something, our right mind is free to think intuitively outside the box, and it creatively explores the possibilities that each new moment brings. (page 29)

My daughter lives in her right mind most of the time. I describe it to people as her living in a four-frame life. She sees a few moments into the past the present and a moment into the future. Civil, family, work and school rules reside safely in her left brain. She rarely accesses them; she creatively develops plans to meet her perceived needs without giving any thought to consequences she might incur. Living in her right mind is not a gift; it is a debilitating liability that will likely keep her dependent even when she reaches adulthood. As I read, I felt like the author communicated that a functioning left brain was a problem that needed to be overcome.

Still, I found that the book was a rich resource for health care professionals who invest their time and energy in acutely and critically ill people. The author correctly points out that a "hospitals number one responsibility should be protecting its patients' energy levels." Nurses already know this. But, with the exception of the affect of nursing care on a patients intracranial pressure, I don't know that there is a lot of research done on this topic.

Having just completed and complained about having to prove competence in nursing by participating in continuing education, I present this argument against test based competency assessment. Knowledge does not equal competency. It is a component of competency but it is never synonymous.

I realized that some people brought energy while others took it away. One nurse was very attentive to my needs: Was I warm enough? Did I need water? Was I in pain? Naturally, I felt safe in her care. She made eye contact and was clearly providing me with a healing space. A different nurse, who never made eye contact, shuffled her feet as though she were in pain. This woman brought me a tray with milk and jello, but neglected to realize that my hands and fingers could not open the containers. I desperately wanted to consume something, but she was oblivious to my needs. She raised her voice when she spoke to me, not realizing that I wasn't deaf. Under the circumstances, her lack of willingness to connect with me scared me. I didn't feel safe in her care. (page 77)

Finally, the list of 'Forty Things I Needed Most' is extremely helpful in caring for someone who is neurologically atypical, no matter what the cause.

June Summary

2009-07-06T12:44:00.004-05:00

June was a good month, brain-wise. My husband traveled. I do miss him when he is away; I always get more me time when he is on the road. I am an introvert, so I appreciate the extra time to myself. I read three full-length books and two books of poetry.

Additionally, it was time for me to renew my nursing license. When I was working full time, this was an easy task. The education department at the hospital I was employed in made it a priority to make sure that there were plenty of on campus opportunities to earn the continuing education credits that the state requires you have when you renew your license. I no longer work outside the home. I keep my nursing license so that I can work if I need to become our home's primary bread winner. I hope that my life never comes to that. If I just needed a job for extra money, I would never re-enter health care and subject myself to shift rotations, holidays away from family, the legal liability, and ever larger patients. I especially wouldn't do it in my current community where the hospital contract and salary scale doesn't recognize my masters degree and as my experience was gained in a different community would only pay me for half of my experience. So, I read and completed a professional course too.

I didn't watch any movies this month. I have none to recommend. But, I did go see Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaur. It was okay. My 3- and 5-year old loved it! I like Up better.

Selected Poems

2009-06-29T08:37:00.003-05:00

Ondra Lysohorsky's Selected Poems is listed on Phillip Ward's A Lifetime's Reading: The World's 500 Greatest Books. Unfortunately, English translations of this delightful collection seem widely unavailable. It is out of print. I picked up a copy on e-Bay. Even after paying shipping, the book cost less than $10. Ondra Lysohorsky is the nom de plume assumed by Ervín Goj, a Czech poet who lived from 1905 - 1989.

Reading his poetry was like walking through history and hearing, through the words of a poet, a first-hand account of the reaction of the people who were living at the time. He lived in a time when the world was only 2-million years old, when science rather than saving humanity had shown how truly dangerous technology could be, when our world was consumed with wars.

Hands at work.
Hands at love.
Hands at death.

Hands playing a violin.
Hands on the trigger in the aircraft of Hiroshima.
Hands in prayer. (Hands)

He grew up in the Czech Republic where a statue of Jan Hus stands as a reminder to the failings of the Western church and a religious system. And he writes:

The dead philosophy student
testifies louder

than debates in the vortex of human pillar of fire
which will sweep through Prague

till the end of the history of this city steeped in fire
and blood
where John Huss has preached in vain

for over five centuries:
'He that will not serve truth, conscience and humanity

shall lose his power.' (Ballad of Jan Palach, Student and Heretic)

And my personal favorite:

When my hair was black,
all here below seemed ill-arranged.

When it became grey,
slowly my eyes opened.

Now when my hair is white,
I see eternity in every moment. (Ballad of Hair)

Simply delightful! I am glad the person who listed this on e-Bay didn't know that it was a rare, hard to find book that usually sells for more.

Does Your House Have Lions

2009-06-25T14:36:00.006-05:00

I am trying to diversify my reading. Does Your House Have Lions was featured in a blog entry I read. I can't remember whose blog I was reading or I would link to it. I didn't care for this book. To me the most intriguing part of the book was the cover.

One day in the late sixties, I was on the phone with Rahsaan and mentioned to him that just that day I had bought a house. He responded by asking, "Does your house have lions?" I said, "What?" He said, "Lions. You know, like in the front of a museum or the post office. You know, concrete lions. My house has lions. Get a house with lions." ~ Joel Dorn, May 1993 from the Rahsaan Roland Kirk Anthology.

The lions strength and courage make him a symbol of strength. The title asks you to consider the strengths in your home. Sonia Sanchez's brother died of complications related to HIV/AIDS. This poem tells his story. More specifically it tells the story of how painful it sometimes is to be a part of a family. In families we share each others pain. The choices another person makes often result in burdens that we must carry. Being connected in a family can be indescribably painful, but it is a source of strength too.

The reason I didn't care for this book is that it is written in E.E. Cumming's style. The author chose to use creative punctuation and grammar. There are periods breaking up a thought, but the sentence structure doesn't follow normal grammar rules. I found this style of writing distracting. It deprived me of visual cues and made the writing difficult to follow. Capital letters aren't used except occasionally. By their rarity, they catch the eye of the reader and demand that the reader answer, "Why is that there? What is being emphasized?" Sometimes I couldn't figure it out.

came the summer of nineteen sixty
harlem luxuriating in Malcolm's voice
became Big Red beautiful became a city
of magnificent Black Birds steel eyes moist

I found the author's name on the front cover artwork intriguing. It is written sonia saNchez. E.E. Cummings used a lowercase I when writing. I have read that he wanted to make himself lowercase, equal to, the other pronouns. He was communicating that he wasn't anymore important than other people. Frankly, I think the calling attention to yourself by writing i is fairly prideful. But, his example has been followed by others, including k.d. lang. And, I found myself wondering, "Why the upper case N?"

Ancestors have an important role in the poem. I have actually spent a great deal of time thinking about this. Since my kids are from Haiti, their ancestors likely came from West Africa. I have been reading quite a bit about Haitian vodou. When we were in Haiti getting the children, we were kept awake all night by the drumming and chanting of a nearby vodou ceremony. And, at least in Haiti, while the spirit of a person's ancestor is honored and served, they aren't worshiped. Like Christianity, Haitian vodou is a monotheistic religion.

The poem ends with a stanza in which the ancestor's ask:

where are the gods when we need them?

Perhaps this question is a universal response when the death of a young person creates a spiritual crisis and the world suddenly is seen as extremely unfair.

Sophie's World

2009-06-18T08:16:00.017-05:00

Sophie's World: A Novel About the History of Philosophy by Jostein Gaarder is a mysterious book. The first mystery is how I came to possess a copy of this book in the first place. My oldest daughter has a fine at the library. She just bought a new car and has learned that gas and car repairs really eat into your spendable income. She can't afford her fine. She reads a lot. In desperation, she browsed our bookshelves for something to read. She found this book. Neither my husband nor I had read it before. Neither of us remember adding it to our home's library. But, my daughter was thrilled to find that we had something to read!

Her review, "Mom. This book is weird. The philosophy is good, but the story is weird."

My sentiments exactly! The story is weird, but the bird's eye view of philosophical thought is very well done. We home school. For the past three years, my oldest daughter's curriculum has included a combined philosophy and history course. I suspect the book contains everything my daughter remembers from her studies. This book is worth reading for that reason alone; it is quite enjoyable and thought provoking. Highly recommended.

"Nobody asked you to like it. But philosophy is not a harmless party game. It's about who we are and where we come from. Do you think we learn enough about that in school?" (page 186)

What we think matters. It affects how we behave, how we prioritize and what we believe to be true. My thoughts on Sophie's World are colored by my personal worldview. I suspect that most of the people that read here followed me from my regular blog and are aware of my worldview. For those who find this entry another way, I believe man can begin to understand truth through both reason and revelation. As long as I can remember I have had an understanding of the existence of God. I no longer try to answer the question of whether this understanding is innate or a result of my life experiences. As a young adult, I tried life without a theistic worldview and the consequences of my lifestyle choices were unpleasant. The scripture I accept as the oracles of God are the Jewish Tanakh and the first person accounts of life of Christ as preserved by the early church.

"These are My words which I spoke to you while I was still with you, that all things which are written about Me in the Law of Moses and the Prophets and the Psalms must be fulfilled." ~ Luke 24:44

Although this book is not anti-Christian, it doesn't present Christianity from a Christian worldview. Christ is presented as a great man and a great philosopher. But, he is presented as a man and not God in the flesh.

"I shall leave a more thorough study of Jesus and his teachings to your religion teacher. He will have quite a task. I hope he will succeed in showing what an exceptional man Jesus was." (page 156).

What I found striking as I thought through this book is how philosophy has led both Christians and humanists to a similar conclusion about society. Compare these two thoughts. First:

"The Enlightenment philosophers thought that once reason and knowledge became widespread, humanity would make great progress. It could only be a question of time before irrationalism and ignorance would give way to an 'enlightened' humanity." (page 312)

And:

"But Kant went further than simply to establish that these weighty questions should be left to the faith of the individual. He believed that it is essential for morality to presuppose that man has an immortal soul, that God exists, and that man has a free will." (page 328)

The first quote reminds me that we are still trying to create Eden through purely human efforts. In my opinion, the second clearly describes what is wrong with the Christian right today. The Westminster Shorter Confession answers the question, "What is the chief end of man," by affirming that we are to to glorify God, and to enjoy him forever. While living a moral life might be a means to that end, it is not the end. Yet, ever since I have been old enough to vote, elections and campaign promises have been about legislating another person's life. In the process, America is less free than it was 20 years ago. The Christian right has supported anti-abortion, anti-gay marriage, pro-family values candidates without questioning their big federal government, more regulations visions. No one seems to care that our country is broke. We can't create a perfectly moral world by human effort. The church needs to go back to her first commission. We should be making disciples and allowing the Holy Spirit to work out other people's salvation.

"After Marx, the socialist movement split into two main streams. Social Democracy and Leninism. Social Democracy, which has stood for a gradual and peaceful path in the direction of socialism, was Western Europe's way. We might call this the slow revolution." (page 397)

America continues its descent into socialism. As the government takes substantial control over the day to day operations of the country, I will have less choice about how I want to spend my time, talents and treasures. I believe a socialist government is inherently oppressive. But, I will always be free, God created me with a free will. I can choose to act and think in a way that is contrary to my nature.

I was glad that the author of Sophie's World seemed to recognize that socialism doesn't necessarily equate to Utopia.

"There will probably never be a 'promised land.' Mankind will always create new problems to fight about." (page 397)

The Disabled God

2009-06-12T23:18:00.007-05:00

The Disabled God: Toward A Liberating Theology of Disability has been on my bookshelf and on my reading wish list for quite some time. Recently, while blog reading and following links to possibly related posts, I came across a tribute to the author, Nancy Eiesland Is Dead at 44; Wrote of a Disabled God. In discussing why she hoped she would be disabled in heaven, she is recorded as saying that without her disability she would be, "absolutely unknown to myself and perhaps to God." Her answer intrigued me. I moved this book, once buried under a stack of books I wanted to read some day, closer to the top of the stack.

Before I begin discussing the book itself, since this is a book blog, here is what the author believed about books:

Beginning during many long hospital stays in my childhood, I long cherished the mistaken notion that books were for escape. Through the years, educators have changed my mind. Books should inspire action; good books may even help us live better lives, individually and collectively.

I think there is a place for books that are brain candy. There are times I cannot read and focus on books that require too much thinking. But, there is also a place for books that inspire action and change the way we think. The Disabled God is not brain candy! The book starts with a review of literature related to disability and disability rights in society in general. Then, as if we needed to be told, relates how the church has mirrored society. The universal church's response to the person with a disability has often been less than adequate. Ms. Eiesland then discusses the theological obstacles to full inclusion and describes a new Christology in which the resurrected Christ is understood as disabled. Finally, using the Eucharist, Ms. Eiesland discusses how church practices must change if the church is to include, in a meaningful way, people with disabilities in the faith community.

People with disabilities, particularly children born with disabilities, do not fit neatly into the church's theology. It is hard to embrace a omnipotent, loving God who would allow human suffering. Our habit of twisting individual passages or even a single verse and forcing a theology of disability has resulted in three distorted theological views. The first one is that disability is a sign of sin. This understanding blames the individual (or his or her parents) for their disability. The second is that disability is almost a gift to those who are the most virtuous, most faithful and can be counted on to suffer well. Finally, that the disabled are an opportunity for segregationist almsgiving. The author describes these theological positions as dangerous in terms of inclusion.

Throughout the Old Testament, people with disabilities are spoken of as unclean. They were not allowed to serve as priests or enter the temple. In the New Testament, Jesus spoke in parables teaching his disciples spiritual truths by using examples from the physical world. In the New Testament the blind, deaf and lame portray the common experience of spiritual hardness of heart, moral failings and wickedness; we are all unclean. Ms. Eiesland points out that we must not use Scripture as an invitation to deny the real differences and challenges the person with a disability encounters as they live their life.

While all people do experience sin, not all people face architectural segregation and discrimination on the basis of disability."(page 85)

Truthfully, my mind mentally kicked and shied away from much of the book's theology. I couldn't embrace the author's thesis that God is disabled. While humans are embodied spirits, I do not think that the Bible supports that God is a corporeal being. The physical world is created, finite and limited. The God of the Bible is eternal, infinite and limitless. Christ taught that God is Spirit. (John 4:24) But, the author never talks about God in these terms. When she speaks of a disabled God, she is speaking of Christ.

"At the resurrection, the disciples understood the person of Jesus for who he really was. Only through the lens of resurrection could they understand the meaning and significance of the life of Jesus on earth. In the resurrected Jesus Christ, they saw not the suffering servant for whom the last and most important word was tragedy and sin, but the disabled God who embodied both impaired hands and feet and pierced side and the imago Dei." (page 99)

I don't want to sound like I am accusing the author of heresy. Her thoughts on God were what helped her make sense of a difficult earthly life. But, I didn't feel the concept of God described in this book incorporates the fullness of God. I understand Christ to be my Messiah, Emmanuel, God with us. However, an orthodox view of God must certainly embrace God as Father and Spirit too. Additionally, I do not believe the author supported her assumption that the resurrected Christ was disabled. Earlier in the book, in a section called "Coming To Terms," Ms. Eiesland conceptually defined the words "impairment" and "disability." There are subtle but important distinctions in how these terms are used. An impairment is a abnormality in the body's physiologic form or function. Disability occur when the impairment results in an inability to perform a task or activity considered necessary. While I can agree that nail prints in the hands and feet and a pierced side could be described as physical impairments, nothing in the gospels indicate that these physical impairments disabled Christ. Christ didn't crawl out of the grave needing assistance with his activities of daily living.

Still, there were two things that the author said that I tend to agree with. First, "Resurrection is not about the negation or erasure of our disabled bodies in hopes of perfect images, untouched by physical disability; rather Christ's resurrection offers hope that our nonconventional, and sometimes, difficult, bodies participate fully in the imago Dei." (page 107) The Bible records that Jesus was raised in the same body he died in. This is a relatively new understanding for me. I used to think my daughter, born with fetal alcohol syndrome, would be healed in the resurrection. I no longer believe that is true. In Don't Mourn for Us by Jim Sinclair, an autistic man, argues:

Autism isn't something a person has, or a "shell" that a person is trapped inside. There's no normal child hidden behind the autism. Autism is a way of being. It is pervasive; it colors every experience, every sensation, perception, thought, emotion, and encounter, every aspect of existence. It is not possible to separate the autism from the person--and if it were possible, the person you'd have left would not be the same person you started with.

FASD is pervasive. God cannot separate FASD from my daughter and still have the same person she is today. She would think and relate to God differently.

Also, I significantly agree with the author's assertion that the church is disabled.

Christ's body, the church, is broken, marked by sin, divided by disputes, and exceptional in its exclusivity.

Last, her discussion on the Eucharist was eye opening. My husband's family is Lutheran. I have attended several Lutheran services where I watched the entire congregation walk to the front of the sanctuary. Those people in attendance who couldn't walk didn't have to go forward. After the rest of the congregation had been served the sacraments, the person serving the Eucharist would bring the sacraments to those who hadn't been able to participate "normally."

"Hence the Eucharist was transformed for me from a corporate to a solitary experience; from a sacralization of Christ's broken body to a stigmatization of my disable body."

And, I never gave it a second thought, until now.

The Histories

2009-06-10T11:15:00.005-05:00

After the mad tyrant Nero committed suicide to avoid being beaten to death, I suspect many Romans breathed a collective sigh of relief. How could they know that what would follow was civil war? Nero was succeeded by Galba. If I have read the story correctly, Galba refused to pay cash rewards to soldiers who had supported him. "I select my troops, I don't buy them." This apparently offended some of the troops who then refused to pledge their allegiance to him. They began searching for a replacement emperor, one who would owe his power and position to the soldiers. Well, you can't have a new emperor if the old one is still alive. So, the first order of business was to assassinate Galba. They also assassinated his adopted heir, Lucius Calpurnius Piso Licinianus. In a speech prior to his death, Piso said:

"If 'constitution,' 'senate' and 'people' are merely empty phrases, it is up to you men, to see that the emperor is not created by the dregs of the army."

Galba and Piso's death on January 15, 69 AD heralded the beginning of the Year of Four Emperors -- the year Romans learned that emperors could be made by Armies rather than bloodline or senate pronouncement. The Histories by Tacitus is the story of the wars that were fought during that year. It is a tales of forced fealties, treason, bloodshed, and personal vendettas being settled at the state level. The tide of history turned on single battles. Whole companies and squadrons were surrendered to the winning side. The commanding officer hoped to gain favor with the soon to be emperor and keep his head. It is a tale as old as time.

"From time immemorial, man has had an instinctive love of power. With the growth of our empire, this instinct has become a dominant and controlling force. It was easy to maintain equality when Rome was weak. World-wide conquest and the destruction of all rival communities or petentates opened the way to the secure enjoyment of wealth and an overriding appetite for it." (Book 2, Chapter 38)

There were parts of this book I really enjoyed. I didn't much care for the protracted descriptions of the battles. Tacitus would not be accused of just presenting the facts. His bias is evident throughout the book. I am not suggesting that he made up history. But, if he thought a leader was spineless, unworthy, undisciplined and greedy, he was quick to say so.

And, he was quick to make moral judgments.

"Soon after, the boy came of age, and having been called up by Galba for services in the Seventh, chanced to encounter his father in the battle and wounded him seriously. As he was searching the prostrate and semi-conscious figure, father and son recognized each other. Embracing the dying man, the son prayed in words choked by sobs that his father's spirit would be appeased and not bear him ill-will as a parricide: the act was not a personal one, and one single soldier was merely an infinitesimal fraction of the forces engaged in the civil war. With these words, he took up the body, dug a grave, and discharged the last duty to his father. Some nearby troops noticed this, then more and more; and so throughout the lines ran a current to wonder and complaint, and men cursed this cruelest of wars. However, this did not stop them killing and robbing relatives, kinsmen and brothers: they said to each other that a crime had been done -- and in the same breath did it themselves." (Book 3, Chapter 25)

Book Five of The Histories contains Tacitus' history of the Jewish nation. It is unlike anything you will read in the Bible. Well, except he does mention Moses and finding water for the nation. But, what I am sure irritated the Roman emperors the most was:

"They hold it to be impious to make idols of perishable materials in the likeness of man: for them the Most High and Eternal cannot be portrayed by human hands and will never pass away. For this reason they erect no images in their cities, still less in their temple. Their kings are not so flattered, the Roman emperors not so honored."

Accidental Blogging

2009-06-07T12:10:00.004-05:00

I was in the cities this week with my youngest daughter. While there, we stayed with my sister. I checked my blogs on my sister's computer. The layout of this blog looked horrible on her large, wide flat screen monitor! So, I have been playing. Apparently, I can not tell the computer to stretch a photo to cover the whole surface of a screen. So, I made some compromises so that the layout looked okay on all the monitors I have access to. While I was at it, I updated my layout with a ribbon book mark and a bookdart.

May Summary

2009-06-02T20:44:00.003-05:00

Can you believe it is June already?

I completed two books this month. Yes, two. I have struggled with finding time to read this month. But that isn't the only problem. I have also had trouble focusing on the books I have chosen to read. First, I was trying to finish my Lenten reading. I know, it is past Pentecost and I should be done with that sort of thing by now. But, I am having trouble reading All the Messianic Prophecies of the Bible by Dr. Herbert Lockyer. I am not enjoying the book and not because the content is bad. In my opinion the book is formatted poorly. Similar to a dictionary, it is formatted in two columns. There are only slim margins along the page edge and between the columns. I find it visually unattractive and, even with my old-lady reading glasses, I am having trouble zeroing in on a line of text. The words seem to all blur. It slows me down tremendously. I am more aware of the fact that I am annoyed than what I happen to be reading.

I have found that this book challenges the "grading system" I have for books. Here is how I evaluate books:

1 star ~ Printing this book wasted perfectly good trees. Purchasing the book wasted my hard earned money. And, reading this book wasted precious time with my family and friends. Why would anyone publish such drivel? Someone else might be able to find something redeeming about this book, but it was not my cup of tea.

2 stars ~ After shifting through the chafe, I found nuggets of gold, real wisdom. However, the book is unnecessarily wordy or presents ideas which are poorly argued. A book that could have been great but, in my opinion is poorly written.

3 stars ~ A book I would recommend you bring to read while you lie in the sun, wait for your car to be repaired, recover from surgery or escape from the stressors of your real life. It is entirely delightful but not life changing, brain candy really.

4 stars ~ The epitome of excellence. Far from brain candy, there is something about the story that is scholarly, revolutionary or captivating that draws the reader into the pages and makes the book difficult to put down.

5 stars ~ I am glad I didn’t die without reading this book

This book is scholarly (4 stars). There are some real nuggets of wisdom and I hate it (1 star). Anyway, I can only read a couple of pages at a time and then I put it down.

Then I tried to read The Histories by Tacitus. This wasn't a good choice for me this month either. It started strong:

After the conflict at Actium, and when it became essential to peace, that all power should be centered in one man, these great intellects passed away. Then too the truthfulness of history was impaired in many ways; at first, through men's ignorance of public affairs, which were now wholly strange to them, then, through their passion for flattery, or, on the other hand, their hatred of their masters. And so between the enmity of the one and the servility of the other, neither had any regard for posterity.

I thought, this could be talking about America today. By in large we have centralized power, twisted histories, a citizenry ignorant of the political process and history. And, no one seems to care. But then, as the title implies, Tacitus began to tell the history of Ancient Rome. I usually like that kind of thing, but I found myself unable to focus.

Well, so much for the books I didn't finish reading. The two books I did finish were The Whitest Wall – Book One Bootleg Brother’s Trilogy by Jodee Kulp. I had hoped to write a review of this book on my personal blog and for Shelfari, but I haven't done that yet. I also read The Gift of Black Folk: The Negroes in the Making of America by W.E.B. DuBois. There is an African proverb that says, "Only when lions have historians will hunters cease being heroes." Dubois is an excellent historian! I really enjoyed reading this history book from the perspective of a black American. History in high school didn't tell the story from the same perspective.

I must have had my own personal Black History month. I had asked for several movies from Netflix for our home school for February. But, I apparently wasn't the only one who thought to do this. The movies were on back order and they finally trickled to my home this month. We watched, We Shall Not Be Moved and When We Were Kings. I am embarrassed to admit that I really like When We Were Kings. Last, Marissa was studying World War 1 in home school. To introduce the topic we watched World War 1: American Legacy which talked about the Harlem Hellfighters.

Finally, for those reading The Chronicle of the Imaginarium Geographica by James A. Owen, I would like to draw your attention to a comment the author made on this blog. An exerpt:

Believe me, I haven't ignored or disregarded these very important matters - I just can't do it all in one or two books!

April Summary

2009-05-01T09:00:00.000-05:00

I read 5 books in April. I was on a roll and then an awful, terrible, no-good cold hit our home. By then end of the day, I am ready for bed. That is usually the time I get in bed, turn on my reading light and indulge. After all, reading is way more fun when the little kids are tucked in. Add to that, my oldest daughter was sick and hospitalized with vomiting and I spent 3-days holding an emesis bag. I have written reviews on all the books I read on this blog. I am still reading The Valley of Vision: A collection of Puritan Prayers & Devotions on occasion. So, that must be my favorite book.

I decided not to choose between the two movies that I watched this month and thought I would just recommend both. First, Mother of Mine, a Swedish film set during World War II, follows the life of a young Eero Lahti as he is forced to leave Finland. He, like 70,000 other children, are being sent to Sweden as refugees. Then, La Vie en Rose, a French film about the life of songbird Edith Piaf. The two movies couldn't be more different, but somehow they tell the same story. When a childhood is marred by neglect or war, separation, and bad choices made by frail, imperfect human parents, those experiences take their toll on the person's adult life. Of the two, I felt Mother of Mine was a better movie. La Vie en Rose, in my opinion, suffered by the way it was told. The movie begins with Edith collapsing on stage and continues with a series of fractured, non-chronological scenes from her life. Some of the scenes were dream-like and seemed to attempt to artistically convey Edith's fragile state of mind rather than being a real event. The movie is what we would have seen had Pablo Picasso decided to direct a movie. I "don't get" impressionist art and I didn't always follow this impressionistic movie.

The Chronicles of the Imaginarium Geographica

2009-04-15T11:12:00.008-05:00

My husband is out of town. I am blogging more. I am reading more. I am sleeping less. My house is a little messier. I have spent the last few days catching up to my daughter by reading the second and third book of The Chronicle of the Imaginarium Geographica by James A. Owen. I enjoyed these two books more than I did the first one and I am not sure it is because they are better written. I think it is more because I spent the season of Lent reading deep books that required a lot of concentration and which stimulated a lot of after-reading thought. I like that sort of thing, but my brain was ready for dessert. Neither book required much thought.

In the second book, The Search for the Red Dragon, the stories main characters have to save Peter Pan and the children of the Imaginarium Geographica. The third book was, in my opinion, the best of the three books I have read. The Indigo King features an altered time line a la It's a Wonderful Life or Back to the Future. Someone goes back in time and interferes with Arthur Pendragon from becoming King Arthur thus creating an alternate current reality -- a reality where England is not England, is ruled by a despot king who apparently can never die and is overrun with giants and mythical creatures. The Imaginarium apparently no longer exists. Its absence is not really explained in the book, but theoretically, it would be easy to wipe out a land based upon human imagination in an environment in which books, reading and creativity do not flourish.

After reading the first book, I was concerned about how the author was going to continue to carry off a series which featured much beloved writers as the main characters. Apparently, so was the author:

After Here, There Be Dragons was published, and the real identities of John, Jack and Charles became common knowledge, I realize that the challenge I faced with The Search for the Red Dragon was to be able to continue their story and still keep the characters (who were based on well-known and much-beloved authors) fresh and interesting. ~ Author's Note that appears at the end of The Search for the Red Dragon

And, that is the one thing that is bugging me about this series. It is apparent that the author of this series is a fan and respects the fantasy writings of John and Jack. I haven't read Charles Williams, but I suspect if I did I would find illusions to Williams' writings in The Chronicles of the Imaginarium Geographica too. But, it doesn't appear to me that he has the same respect for these men's spiritual views. The best example I can give is the third book. There is a scene in the third book in which Lewis, Tolkien, and Hugo Dyson are on a walk. Lewis credits his conversion from theocracy, the belief in a higher power, to Christianity to these two men. The book is supposed to be speculation regarding what happened to convince Lewis that Christianity was true. And, the book does a dismal job of presenting the Christ of the Bible. Joseph of Arimathea, a saint venerated in both the Orthodox and Roman Catholic church, is transformed into the man who hides Christ's children in the Imaginarium. Lewis is converted to Christianity because he meets a descendant of Christ.

But, perhaps Lewis would be less annoyed with the portrayal than I am. Because, he knew that God cannot be made less by man's ponderings and story telling.

A man can no more diminish God's glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word, 'darkness' on the walls of his cell. ~ CS Lewis quote

The fourth book comes out in October 2009. I have preordered it. Because, while I find the stories on one level brain candy, on another level a way to talk to my child about how the world presents Christ. It allows us to ponder, "Who do you say that I am?" She is loving them and reading them over and over.

Great Lent: Journey to Pascha

2009-04-14T16:57:00.008-05:00

This is the second year I have read this book. I am a bit of a hands-on, visual, experience it learner. When I read this book last year, I flew through and really understood Chapter 1 (about 30 pages). Then I began to struggle, not with the individual ideas the author was writing about, but with visualizing the big picture.

From a comment by DebD on this blog:

I would love to know what you thought about Schmemann's chapter on Presanctified though. I remember when I first read it I was so confused.

I guess I will I am less confused then last year. I don't think I can experience Lent in the same way as my Orthodox friends do, but I found as I read Great Lent: Journey to Pascha, my mind kept picking up parallels between what I do in my home and what I was reading in the book. My thinking has advanced from learning facts about Lent to seeing application.

During Lent, the Orthodox church reads the entire books of Genesis, Isaiah, and Proverbs. Because our family celebrates Passover, I generally study Exodus and contemplate the freedom we have because the Lamb of God was slain. Isaiah portrays the Messiah as a suffering servant; it contains prophecies of Christ's crucifixion. Genesis would also be a good choice. Not only does Genesis tell the story of God's good creation, the fall, the promise of a Savior and the story of sin's repercussions, Genesis is the story of a bride -- the perfect story for studying while preparing to remember Christ's passion! At Calvary, Christ paid the bride price for the church. When we drink the wine and eat the bread of communion, we accept Christ's offer of marriage. We begin the process of cleansing ourselves during unleavened bread. At Pentecost our engagement is sealed. We become betrothed to Christ. Finally, the fall festival speaks of the marriage of the Lamb. Perfect!

My mother heart responded to this quote about the Prodigal Son:

"A man who has never had that experience, be it only very briefly, who had never felt that he is exiled from God and from real life, will never understand what Christianity is about." (page 21)

How often do I interfere with my children's ability to understand Christianity because I hold on too tightly to the reigns? Since becoming a mom, I have had to expand my understanding of what it means to sin. I had always understood sin to be a list of bad behaviors a person engages in. I have come to know that very good things can be done from wrong motivations. I cannot judge a man's heart. I have come to know that behavior doesn't trump motives. Still, my children are not developmentally where I am; they haven't been following Christ as long. They haven't had my life experiences. They gain an experiential knowledge of sin the same way Adam and Eve did -- by choosing sin. Sometimes the limits I set are too controlling. I worry about the financial and emotional costs and the just plain inconvenience of their sinful choices. But, the focus of my worry is rarely eternal. If I had an eternal focus, I think I would leave more wiggle room for sin. I would allow my children the freedom to make bad choices so that I could give them the gift of learning how to deal with sin in their life. Most importantly, I would allow them to experience God's forgiveness.

The church very often, if not always transposes the past into present. Thus on Christmas Day, we sing, "Today the Virgin gives birth..."; on Good Friday, "Today stands Jesus before Pilate..."; on Palm Sunday, "Today He comes into Jerusalem..." (page 80)

This is very similar to what is done during a Passover Seder:

Why is this night different from all other nights?
Why is it that on all other nights during the year we eat either bread or matzoh, but on this night we eat only matzoh?
Why is it that on all other nights we eat all kinds of herbs, but on this night we eat only bitter herbs?
Why is it that on all other nights we do not dip our herbs even once, but on this night we dip them twice?
Why is it that on all other nights we eat either sitting or reclining, but on this night we eat in a reclining position?

The Passover Seder is not supposed to be celebrated as a memory of a past event. It is actually a re-creation of a living event. Each person at the Seder should understand that they personally came out of slavery. This is why I understand that when I celebrate and recreate the Last Supper, I am with the apostles on the night before Jesus died. I eat the afikomen, the broken body of Christ, and drink the Cup of Redemption in the real presence of Christ. Schmemann calls this the "presence of the absent." (page 82)

Perhaps, it is easier to understand transposing the past into the present, by observing Rembrandt's The Raising of the Cross. Rembrandt understood what so many have forgotten, he was there when they crucified Christ. He painted his own face on the soldier who was lifting the cross. Christ's defeat of death means that we are victorious too. In a way it seems a little sad that we need to put so much physical and spiritual work into the season of Lent. Every year, I have strayed and need to be called back to the cross -- reminded of my own victory.

Meditations on a Theme: A Spiritual Journey

2009-04-06T00:35:00.010-05:00

I have finished all but one of the books in my Lenten reading plan. Since our family tradition honors Passover and our church is on the Western church calendar, my Lenten preparation is over. I didn't finish
All the Messianic Prophecies of the Bible by Herbert Lockyer. I will just save it for this months reading.

Bloom's Meditations on a Theme was a delight. If I were in a liturgical church, I might not have enjoyed it as Lenten reading. The journey that Bloom is contemplating is a pre-Lenten journey designed to prepare the Orthodox faithful for the physical and spiritual discipline of Lent. If my research is correct, the sermons outlined in Bloom's book begin 5 weeks before the beginning of Lent.

This is the first step, which we must accept and which we find so difficult to accept: we must face our true situation, not consoling ourselves with the thought that we have some sort of life within us that can replace divine life. We must accept that we are in darkness as far as the light of God is concerned. And then we must do something about it. ~ An Introduction to Lent

On humility:

"This is the only means we have of releasing ourselves from the fear of public opinion, from the subservience which frustrates our finding the courage and the opportunity to reform our lives, since we have chosen human values as our criterion. As soon as we have freed ourselves from that we are left with our conscience alone, wherein the voice of God sounds freely, declaring us the judgment of God and enabling us to begin to live fully and in freedom."(page 69)

While contemplating the story of the Prodigal Son, Bloom gives perhaps the best description of the gospel, the good news, that I have ever read.

And in this he discovers the true nature of repentance, for true repentance blends together the vision of one's own evil and the certainty that there is forgiveness even for us because true love can neither falter nor be quenched. When there is only a hopeless vision of our own faults, repentance remains unfulfilled; it brings remorse and may lead to despair."
(page 78)

Finally, on March 29, my adult Sunday school teacher gave the message at church. His proof text came from Matthew 22:15-22. I had read that story and Christ's admonishment to, "Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s," many, many times. I had always read the story in the physical. I missed the spiritual understanding that I am to give unto God that which is in God's image. When my Sunday school teacher talked about this, I wondered how I could miss so obvious a spiritual connection! The same week I read:

"What bears the image of Caesar is his own, what bears God's own image, belongs to him: Give to each what is his -- the money to him who coined it and impressed it with his sign, but your whole self to him whose image is imprinted in you; we are God's as completely as the tribute money is Caesar's." (page 91)

I just love when I get the same message from more than one source. It feels like a confirmation.

The Valley of Vision

2009-04-05T09:54:00.004-05:00

The Valley of Vision: A collection of Puritan Prayers & Devotions was on my reading list for the month preceding Passover and First Fruits. As the title implies, it is a book of prayers. The prayers are short; most are less than a page in length. I kept this book in the front pocket of my purse along with a pair of reading glasses. Whenever I found myself out and about with extra time, I pulled it out. It was the perfect book to bring along when I had to pick Marissa up from work and wait for her to get off. It was also the perfect book to read during this season of preparation.

Christ died on Passover. This is the day that God commanded that the Israelites remembered how God miraculously saved them from slavery in Egypt (Leviticus 23). Do this in remembrance of me -- Christians are commanded to remember this night too. Each of us has been personally brought out of our slavery to sin, death and the world. The time of preparation reminds us of the feelings, life and consequences we had while we were enslaved. It is a time to remember that there is still tyranny and enslavement in our world today.

"Keep me in the freedom of experiencing thy salvation continually."

It is a time to remember what we were saved from:

Keep me ever mindful of my natural state,
but let me not forget my heavenly title,
or the grace that can deal with every sin.

It is a time to prepare to celebrate Christ's sacrifice and resurrection; a time to remember that we have died to our old life.:

Give me to die with thee that I may rise to new life
for I wish to be as dead and buried
to sin, selfishness, to the world;
that I might not hear the voice of the charmer,
and might be delivered from his lusts.
O Lord, there is much ill about me -- crucify it,
much flesh within me -- mortify it.
Purge me from selfishness, the fear of man, the love of approbation,
the shame of being thought old-fashioned,
the desire to be cultivated or modern.

March Summary

2009-04-02T19:43:00.003-05:00

I read only four books this month. I have started more books, but I keep getting sidetracked, putting a book down, picking another one up and growing my to be read book pile. I know that this book will probably not appeal to the masses, but the book that spoke most to me was Including People with Disabilities in Faith Communities: A Guideline for Service Providers, Families & Congregations by Erik W. Carter. I wrote a review of this book on my personal blog.

My reading took a detour this month when I read Here, There Be Dragons by James A. Owen. My virtual friend DebD had reviewed it on her blog. When I mentioned it to my oldest daughter, she could hardly wait to read the first book. She loved it! She bought and devoured the second book and is waiting to get the third book in the series through an inter-library loan.

I don't know if I liked it or not. I think I liked the idea for the book a whole lot better than the final product. In the book the main characters are commissioned to protect an atlas of previous authors' imaginations. The main characters are famous authors whose own works are known to have filled generations of readers with wonder. As I read the book, I recognized almost every single idea as having come from another work of fantasy. There seemed to be no original thought. Although his story was stretched almost beyond recognition, the biblical Noah was included as a fantasy character. And, the discussion on heaven seemed to conclude that our world is heaven. I suspect this was only meant to apply to fantasy people, characters who live on eternally in our imagination. I sure don't feel that I am in any kind of heaven.

As I did in last month's summary, I am going to tell you about the best thing I saw on DVD. We don't have cable and can't even pick up local channels. But, we do use our membership at Netflix to rent movies to watch at home. This month, my favorite was A Man Named Pearl, the story of a self-taught topiary artist, Pearl Fryar, living in Bishopville, S.C. The documentary of his life is rich with southern gospel music, offers a message of hope, and is inspirational.

On God:

"I don't think you can substitute the physical side of life for the spiritual side of life. And, we can call it whatever we want to call it for a different faith, but it's that belief in someone bigger than I am that makes life interesting to live."

On racism:

"There always going to be obstacles. The thing is, you don't let those obstacles determine where you go."

Now, go forth and fill your minds with new things!

Diversify Your Reading

2009-03-26T19:39:00.004-05:00

I don't usually join Book Reading Challenges. I love to read, but I don't want the pressure of having made a commitment to other people. And, I am not going to officially join this one either. I have already made a commitment to ensure racial and ethnic diversity of the authors I read. So, I was thrilled to find the blog Diversity Rocks: Adding Color to Your Reading List.

Hat Tip: Tami at Anti-Racist Parent

A History of Christianity in Africa: From Antiquity to the Present

2009-03-23T21:13:00.006-05:00

I am finding this book hard to review. First, the information covers two millennia of Christianity; there is a lot of information. But, as important, this text is written like a history textbook and represents, perhaps, my least favorite way to study history. But, I will do my best.

"When Jesus was persecuted by the European Herod, God sent him into Africa; by this we know that Africans have naturally a true spirit of Christianity." ~ The Children of the Sacred Heart in Northern Rhodesia, in 1958, quoted in J. Taylor and D. Lehmann, Christians of the Copperbelt (SCM, London, 1961) p. 167.

I found the beginning of the book the most interesting. Admittedly, I have studied this period of Christianity more than I have the others. The topic was familiar. I was annoyed by one little thing. The author of the book consistently referred to the Non-Chalcedonian Churches as the Monophysite churches. I reject that label and have written before, "The church split over semantics?" Because the Non-Chalcedonian churches do not teach that Christ had only one nature. They believe that the divine spirit and his physical, human body (Christ's two natures) are indivisible and cannot be separated.

I think I might agree with them. Not because I have any special understanding about Christ's nature. My spirit and body are indivisible and without separation. Our adult Sunday school class has been studying 1 John. It seems that the entire book addresses the fact that my body and spirit are indivisibly one. In the resurrection Christ's physical body and divine spirit became the first fruits of the resurrection. He is not ruling and reigning in heaven as a disembodied spirit. The church I belong to doesn't endorse or require fasting, celibacy or really any of the practices related to Christian asceticism. I am talking as an outsider. I hope not to offend or oversimplify the Lenten fast that Orthodox Christians are currently participating in. But, it seems that the entire reason for fasting is that there is a recognition that our body and spirit are one; fasting helps prepare our spirit for celebrating Christ's passion. The Western church seems to have lost this understanding.

When I became a Christian, the church's history became my history. It seems that after presenting the ancient church, the rest of the book highlighted the church's corporate sin. There were, of course, stories of the persecuted church and martyrs, but they were the exception. By far, the bigger story is a seemingly unending list of people, churches and political alliances. I knew, but didn't like to read again, about the church's involvement in the trans-Atlantic slave trade. The overall message of the book can best be summed up in the following quote:

There is too much failure among all Europeans in Nyassaland. The Three Combined Bodies: Missionaries, Government, and Companies or Gainers of money do form the same rule to look on a Native with mockery eyes. It sometimes startle us to see that the Three Combined Bodies are from Europe, and along with them there is a title 'CHRISTNDOM.' And to compare of make a comparison between the MASTER of the title and His Servants it pushes any African away from believing the Master of the title. If we had power enough to communicate ourselves to Europe, we would have advised them not to call themselfs 'CHRISTNDOM' but 'Europeandom.' We see that the title 'CHRISTNDOM' does not belong to Europe, but to future BRIDE. Therefore the life of the Three Combined Bodies is altogether too cheaty, too thefty, too mockery. ~ Charles Domingo

A plaque near the entrance of Elmina Castle

Perhaps part of the reason Christians were so poor at representing Christ to the people of Africa is that Christians seem to have an unfailing inability to read and follow the example of Scripture.

"While they were ministering to the Lord and fasting, While they were ministering to the Lord and fasting, the Holy Spirit said, 'Set apart for Me Barnabas and Saul for the work to which I have called them.'" Acts 13:2 (NAS)

But, that isn't how missionaries were selected:

Someone, possibly deeply stirred at missionary meeting... feels constrained to offer for overseas service. Almost inevitably this 'offering' comes to be regarded as a 'holy call' to a sacrificial vocation. The whole idea becomes wrapped in a veil of romantic splendour...many may know that, mentally, physically or spiritually, the candidate is unsuitable for missionary service. (page 77)

One of the other themes I found interesting was how closely tied education is with evangelism. Missionaries held a virtual monopoly on education. I had never really thought of it before, but Christianity is a religion of the Word. Tribes that didn't have a written language needed one to study the Scripture. Missionaries needed to spend years living with a people group to learn their language. They had to put it into writing and teach the people how to read. I began to wonder how many converts were hunger for the written word and the power that comes with knowing how to read and write instead of being hungry for the Living word.

The last thing that I found interesting is that many Africans joined the church because they embraced a prosperity gospel. The Europeans are wealthier and more powerful than us; therefore, the European God must be stronger than our traditional gods. This belief, of course, is only good so long as the person embracing it feels that God is blessing them too. In the end, some Africans believed that there were "secret" teaching, spells and Scripture that the Europeans weren't sharing with them. And where did they get this anti-biblical prosperity gospel? Why from White missionaries of course! "I showed them a Bible and told them it was it that made our nation rich and powerful."

Sadly, the overall message of the book is that missionaries in Africa were totally unequipped to do their job. They didn't know how to interact with the culture. They opposed things that seem irrelevant and not grounded in biblical truth, for example round houses. There was not a culturally sensitive way with polygomy. Native converts were more successful at gaining converts. But, instead of equipping and commissioning them as pastors, priests and leaders in the newly planted churches, missionaries created mission villages and set themselves up as autocratic rulers. They made themselves political and spiritual leaders, judge and jury. They even dispensed capital punishment.

And, I will end on this sad note:

The Native is, we firmly believe, one of the best assets this country possesses. We need him to assist us to develop its vast resources, and he will help us, if we allow him, to make it a country in which an ever-increasing number of Europeans will live in comfort. (page 308)

I am really not surprised that anyone ever thought such a thing. Some thoughts just pop into your mind unexamined. But, to write it down, to be saved for generation after generation? Who thinks like that?

In today's headlines: Pope begins Africa tour

"Although the numbers of practicing Catholics are dwindling in the developed world, Africa, where some progress has been made toward democratization but conflicts and crises still simmer, is seen as vital to the future of a growing Church.

Image Source: Travel Blog, Photographer: Tamara Northcott

A Better Definition

2009-03-17T16:27:00.003-05:00

Of post-evangelicalism:

Post-evangelicals are people who are basically looking back to the more ancient traditions of the church to influence and define their evangelicalism in the present. ~ Michael Spencer, blogging at iMonk, in interview with CNN’s Bob Costantini, Political Notebook (March 16, 2009)

This interview was still available as a podcast on iTunes.

Karant Jou

2009-03-05T09:41:00.011-06:00

A Catholic Church in Virginia has opened an exhibit of Haitian art. The gallery is called Karant Jou, which is the Haitian Kreyol word for 40 Days and references Lent. I have started my preparation for Passover. My church is a non-liturgical church. It celebrates Christ's Resurrection on Easter Sunday. We follow the Western Calendar. So, our celebration will occur on April 12. But, there is no formal preparation for the day. The Eastern church is celebrating Pascha on April 19. Messianic Christians will celebrate Passover on April 9; they will begin their preparations after Purim, March 10.

In terms of my religion, I have been asked, "What are you?" The answer is always the same. I am a Christian. If people press, I tell them I am post-evangelical, but not emerging. Or, perhaps I am a happy enough evangelical who sees many flaws in her church, but doesn't believe there is a perfect church, particularly a perfect church that is geographically located in close proximity to her home. Those people who are non-Christians will generally drop out of the conversation at this time. Like the characters in The Memorandum, I am talking a nonsense language that only has meaning and value in the Christian community. I am not trying to be rude or purposely vague. I am part of a faith community because I believe that the Bible commands Christians to meet together and fellowship with other Christians. Still, at this point in my life, I really, truly don't clearly identify with any particular denomination. I have been disappointed in the Evangelical church, but I find the doctrine of the emerging church too loose to stand as a worldview upon which I can base my life. I lean toward a more traditional form of worship.

I do not claim to follow the ancient path. I don't know what path that is. I read the Bible, I read history. I read Rabbinic writings and try to understand the culture in Jerusalem at the time of Christ. I read the church fathers. I try to create traditions and a lifestyle in my home that reflect what I have learned. I think there is a lot of value in creating an environment in which my every act -- including what I eat, how I dress and how I spend my time -- becomes an act of worship. It means God is important all the time and not just on Sunday mornings. But, I suspect, my personal halakhah, that is the way I live out my faith will be in a state of flux for a long time. I don't like to change my lifestyle or habits on a whim. I want to know why I am doing what I am doing. So, karant jou, my own word for my own journey to Passover.

Currently, I celebrate Passover on the Wednesday before my church celebrates Christ's passion. This year these days happen to line up exactly. I will be celebrating Passover exactly when my Messianic friends are! Then, on Sunday morning I will go to church and celebrate First Fruits with my congregation. During the season leading up to Passover, I will remember my time as a prodigal and look forward to the hope I have in Christ. I prepare intellectually through the books I read.

This year, I am reading:

~~A History of Christianity in Africa: From Antiquity to the Present~~ by Elizabeth Isichei
~~Great Lent: Journey to Pascha~~ by Alexander Schmemann
All the Messianic Prophecies of the Bible by Dr. Herbert Lockyer
~~Including People with Disabilities in Faith Communities: A Guide for Service Providers, Families, and Congregations~~ by Erik W. Carter
~~Meditations on a Theme: A Spiritual Journey~~ by Anthony Bloom
~~The Valley of Vision: A collection of Puritan Prayers & Devotions~~ by Arthur G. Bennett

I will also continue to read through the Proverbs, Psalms and the weekly Torah Portions.

The Garden Party and The Memorandum

2009-03-01T21:27:00.004-06:00

My oldest daughter is home educated. Her curriculum has required her to read many of the books that sit unopened on our book shelves. We have a full set of the Great Book of the Western World. I joined her in reading many of these great works. She really didn't need me to follow along, but it meant that she and I would have common ground that would allow us to just talk. As I read them I realized that they were not as difficult to understand as I assumed and that they often contained treasures. Still, when selecting books for myself, I largely ignored these classics. So, I decided that every 5th book I read would be a book that was written at least 100 years ago. When I read 4 books, I dutifully pulled one of the Great Books off the shelf and read.

That pattern worked well for a while. Then, I began parenting two children from the African diaspora; they arrived in home via International Adoption. Their home country is Haiti. I wanted to fill our home with literature from the African community. So, I began looking for an African American or Pan African "Canon," literature that is either of a particularly high quality or had great historical influence. My search didn't yield any results. But, it did make me question my own Western Canon -- books that reflect the thoughts of the ancient Greeks, writings popular in the Roman Empire, thoughts from Reformation and Renaissance thinkers. It made me wonder if there was such a thing as an Eastern Canon. As I searched, I came across A Lifetime's Reading: The World's 500 Greatest Books. If I stay on schedule I should finish this list when I am 96.

Anyway, I just finished reading The Garden Party and The Memorandum by Vaclav Havel. These two plays are on the list of 500 Greatest Books. Truthfully, I didn't think I wouldn't enjoy these plays. These satirical works criticize governmental, bureaucratic inefficiency. Taken out of context, each line might be considered in the genre of nonsense literature. But, together the plays are timeless masterpieces. I was surprised at how familiar I was with the world according to Vaclav Havel.

In The Memorandum a government bureaucracy has begun using an artificial language that is supposed to increase the precision with which we communicate.

"Ptydepe is built according to an entirely logical principle: the more common the meaning, the shorter the word. Thus, for example, the most commonly used term so far known -- that is the term 'whatever' -- is rendered in Ptydepe by the word 'gh'."

As I read that I thought, "Oh, the author must have a teenager!'

But, my mind wandered even farther as I read The Garden Party. I had recently received a rather nasty personal email about a blog entry I wrote in which I shared that I was not a member of the Homeschool Legal Defense Association and that I didn't agree with all of their political views. And I read:

"Stop it, for God's sake! This way we'll never get along together! If you mean to torpedo the friendly atmosphere I've managed to create among you under the guise of an open discussion, and furthermore, to undermine the success of our garden party -- then there's no place for you in the close-knit ranks of our collective! I won't stand for rowdyism here!"

That email was not the first (and I am sure it won't be the last) time I have felt like an outsider around Christians. I don't share their political views. Even my spiritual views lean away from traditional Western Christianity. I used to blog on a site dedicated to Conservative Christian home educators. I moved my blog because I all too often felt as if I had stepped on someone's toes. It is a good thing that I have learned that a Christian follows Christ and not other Christians or I would have left the church a long, long time ago. (Okay, I just started humming 'American Pie.')

Then, just because I thought this was completely funny, reflecting exactly how I feel about mainstream media:

MRS PLUDEK: Hugo is nicely taken care of. Shouldn't we now look out for something for Peter? After all, he too is our child.

PLUDEK: Oh, we'll find something for him. He might go to work for some paper.

MRS PLUDEK: Wouldn't they mind him looking like a bourgeois intellectual? If only he'd stop wearing those glasses!

PLUDEK: They haven't got a single intellectual among them, so they're bound to think better a bourgeois one than none at all. At least he knows which way is up. Did somebody ring?

Well, of course there are some individual news people whom I respect greatly. Paul Harvey, September 4, 1918 – February 28, 2009, may you find eternal rest. Good Day!

Anyway, these two plays were fun reads. In fact, I suspect that I will read the 5 other plays that are contained in this book. But, first, I will be starting my Lenten reading.

February Summary

2009-03-01T18:19:00.005-06:00

I read 8 books this month. This is an amazing accomplishment as it surpasses the number of books I read in total since becoming the mother of two preschoolers in May. My goal was helped considerably in that my husband was traveling 2 of the 4 weeks. I get way more play and way less sleep when he is gone. He generally tells me when it is time to go to bed. Apparently, I'm not grown yet! I think my favorite was Kindred by Octavia Butler. Marissa read this and enjoyed it too. In fact, when she finished reading it she went directly to the library and checked out more books by the same author.

This might be against the rules on a book blog, but I also want to recommend a documentary I watched this month. I had first heard of the book when I was browsing Shelfari looking for book recommendations. When I went to Amazon to see about buying the book and learned that the book was available as a documentary on DVD, I decided that I would just rent the DVD. I had hoped that it would be engaging enough to interest my oldest daughter. Well, she is smart enough to know when she is being tricked into learning something. But, I enjoyed the discussion. The video uses actors to portray the historical CS Lewis and Sigmund Freud and follows their journeys which ultimately leads Lewis to Christianity and in which Freud embraces atheism. The narration is interupted at intervals so that a group of people from different religious beliefs can take part in a round table discussion about the worldviews of the two men.

It feels good to be thinking again!

When and Where I Enter: The Impact of Black Women on Race and Sex in America

2009-02-24T13:24:00.001-06:00

I have tried to be deliberate in my reading lately. In the past, I read novelettes which could be easily digested in a matter of hours. Since childhood, my ideal reading condition has included a large, empty block of time. I liked to be able to read a book from cover to cover. But, my time is now divided by mothering, blogging, cleaning and transporting my daughter back and forth to work. My pattern has necessarily changed. As I mature, age and turn gray, I have decided that at least some of what I read should teach me.

One of my favorite bloggers is in the habit of multi-blogging. But, she just started a new blog that attempts to combine all her thoughts in one place. Her blog description reads, "Leaping into the gap between knowledge sought [scita] and knowledge that must be sought to make sound decisions [scienda]. In other words, cool stuff to know." It is in that spirit that I have decided that every month I will read books that might be included in an African-American or Pan-African Canon if such a thing existed. After all, I am raising two black children. I should know more about their history, culture and social pressures than what I learned in the very Westernized view taught in my public school.

In When and Where I Enter, Paula Giddings presents a testimony to the impact of black women's movements of issues of race, sex, class and poverty. This is a very good book for those interested in the black history, racism and sexism in America. Racism exist on several different levels: institutionalize racism, personally mediated racism and internalized racism. This book touches on America's history at each level -- history that has put us on a trajectory that has brought about racial tension and inequities in America today. The devaluation of women in a patriarchal society predates the founding of this country. The black woman is uniquely positioned as a bridge between these two marginalized groups.

Giddings highlights the historical, differential access to education, suffrage, and employment -- the lack of power for black Americans -- that litter America's post-emancipation history. She discusses the disadvantages that existed after the creation of the Jim Crow South for black Americans. These acts of institutional racism were part of my public school education. What I didn't learn is that wealth creation programs that were started around the Depression Era excluded black Americans. The Social Security act excluded domestic and agricultural workers. Many of these jobs were held by non-white workers. These workers, therefore, were not guaranteed an income after retirement. But, even more devastating to the black family was that they were excluded from the suburban America. The Federal Housing Administration adopted racist policy. These policies prevented black Americans from qualifying for home loans in white neighborhoods. Property appraisals were also tied to race. All-white neighborhoods received the highest government rating. Home ownership and home equity is a tool for passing on wealth to the next generation.

Social Darwinism has had a negative impact on policies related to the poor. Since class and race are entwined, Social Darwinism has had a negative impact upon black Americans.

The poor deserved to be poor, and if they died from poverty, they deserved that too. Giving them government aid could destroy society, for it would corrupt the natural laws of evolution -- survival of the fittest.

Black and white women's groups had different priorities when it came to addressing these issues. While the white women's group verbally supported the black women's groups on many issues, the groups divided politically. White women were willing to forgo suffrage for all in exchange for suffrage for white women. Southern white women published a policy statement that stated that their purity didn't need to be defended by mobs of white males lynching black men. But, they didn't support federal legislation that would allow the federal government to intervene and investigate acts of lynching if the local government had refused to do so. The issue of state's versus federal rights was too important to the group. Employment issues were viewed differently too. White women didn't necessarily fight for the right of black women to go to college and enter jobs that had historically been men's jobs. Instead the saw better working conditions for maids and laundry workers as improving black women's work.

The society's devaluation of black Americans was played out on personal levels too. When legislation was approved opening jobs to black Americans, some employers refused to hire black workers because their white employees wouldn't work side-by-side with a black worker. When black men and women finally won the right to vote, individual white Americans used fear, bribery and murder to keep them from the polls. Law enforcement officers sometimes turned a blind eye. The author even related a story of a tea at the home of Eleanor Roosevelt attended by a leader in the black woman's movement. There was an awkward moment at the beginning of the meal. No one wanted to share a table with this woman.

In my own town, a diversity survey found that, despite feeling uncomfortable around people of other races because lack of exposure, there is enough diversity in our community. In fact, one resident admitted to moving here from the cities to get away from diversity. I suspect that it is safe to conclude that personally mediated racism is alive and well in my home town.

Perhaps the hardest thing to embrace is that many black Americans have internalized the message they receive from society. In my mind, this message is most clearly seen in young black males who portray themselves as gangsta's. In my hometown this seems to be the only image a black teen is allowed to portray -- dangerous, strong, cool, and a sexual savant. It is what his peers expect of him. Even some white male teens have embraced this stereotype. I know because these boys are unusually attracted to my oldest daughter. She is perceived by her peer group as half black. Since all things black are cool, so is she.

The author also discussed the feeling inside the black community that lighter skin is better. I would say this also applies to hair textures that are more European. There is an understanding in the black community that really tight, kinky curls are "bad hair." "Good hair" is straighter and "prettier."

"There are men right in our own race, and they are legion, who would rather marry a woman for her color than her character. The white man who crosses the line and leaves an heir is doing a favor for some black man who would marry the most debased woman, whose only stock in trade is her color, in preference to the most royal queen in ebony." ~ Nannie Helen Burroughs

Finally, black women's groups were confused by the whole women's movement. The average black family still makes 58 cents on every dollar a white family earns. This income gap meant that black women have always worked to help their family survive. In fact, black women go to college at a higher rate than black men. There are more black women professionals then there are black men professionals. Sociologists have studied this phenomenon and have come up with a surprisingly stupid conclusion. Black women are too bold. There drive and education has disenchanted black men. The solution? Black women should stay home and remain uneducated.

I couldn't believe all the women who had significant contributions to our country who I had never in my life heard of! I don't recall ever learning about Ida B. Wells, Mary Church Terrell, or Mary McLeod Bethune.

Last, and this could be a blog entry in itself, I stumbled over this quote:

"Why is it never said that the really crucial function, the really important role that women serve as housewives is to buy more things for the house." ~ Betty Friedan, The Feminine Mystique

I stay home. I would like to believe that I am more valuable to society than just a consumer. I mean I know I don't do really important things like pay taxes on a wage. But, I do shape the next generation. I thought our country valued that. I guess not.

Related: Levels of Racism: A Theoretic Framework and a Gardener’s Tale by Camara Phyllis Jones, MD, MPH, PhD

Or, if you prefer, this link will direct you to a video presentation on her allegory, "A Gardener's Tale."

Kindred

2009-02-24T07:02:00.002-06:00

African spirituality embraces the understanding the our ancestors influence the fortune of the living. In Octavia Butler's Kindred the main character's ancestor did more than that. Through a connection that neither could explain, Dana, a modern black woman, was transported through time and space to a plantation in Maryland whenever her ancestor is in trouble. Her ancestor, Rufus, was a white slave owner. The story provides an unusual way to explore the grim realities of slavery. I enjoyed this book.

Gilgamesh

2009-02-17T10:44:00.006-06:00

What an odd story. The Epic of Gilgamesh is one of the oldest stories on Earth. It is set in the Tigris-Euphrates River Valley. Those Christians who have read the book upon which they assert to state their faith will recognize this area from the Genesis creation account. Gilgamesh was an ancient king of who reigned over Uruk, a Sumerian city-state (an area located in southern Iraq).

The story begins with the people of Uruk crying out to the gods -- asking for relief from Gilgamesh's brutal rule. The gods decide to intervene and create an ezer kenegdo for Gilgamesh, the man Enkidu. A man who will bring balance to Gilgamesh's rule, a man who will become his constant friend and battle partner. Enkidu begins the story as a feral creature, but he gains knowledge. In the Genesis account, Adam and Eve eat the fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. Enkidu gains knowledge by having sex with a temple prostitute. His innocence is stripped; he is rejected by the animals. He is no longer one of them. Now, he is civilized. He learns to eat, drink, dress and behave like a man. He learns the language of men.

There are many parallels to the Bible account of creation. Instead of a Tree of Life there is a plant of eternal youth. There are illusions to baptisms and annointings that describe making one clean. Tammuz, who is mentioned in the Tanakh, is identified as a lover of the goddess Ishtar. And, there is a flood that is ordered by the gods. Most of humanity is destroyed. One family survives the deluge by building a large wooden ark.

The similarities between the flood stories are undeniable. I suspect some people would read The Epic of Gilgamesh and assume that the story in the Tanakh cannot possibly be true; it is simply a retelling of an older story, a myth. But, my faith is not rocked. In response to a comment to an entry on my personal blog (as opposed to this also personal, but not about my family blog) I wrote:

I am aware that there are ancient stories of virgin births, resurrections, miracles and healings. This proves nothing to me. You have approached these facts with the eyes of a skeptic and believe they prove that the Bible is false. When I approach these same things through the eyes of faith, I see evidence of the truth of the Genesis account of history. All humans have similar stories because they started as one family. A family whose patriarch had an intimate relationship with his Creator. After the dispersal at the Tower of Babel… these people took the stories they had learned, the flood “legends,” their ideas of the promise of a Savior, the virgin birth and wove them into the fabric of their society. Having the same or similar stories is what would be expected of a people group with a common ancestry and a common history. Frankly, if these similarities didn’t exist, their absence would lend weight to disproving the Bible.

Oh, and carpe diem. Or if you prefer, "Eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow you may die." But, isn't this more poetic?

Humans are born, they live, then they die,
This is the order that the gods have decreed.
But, until the end comes, enjoy your life,
spend it in happiness, not despair.
Savor your food, make each of your days
a delight, bathe and anoint yourself,
wear bright clothes that are sparkling clean,
let music and dancing fill your house,
love the child that holds you by the hand,
and give your wife pleasure in your embrace.
That is the best way for man to live.

Related: Focus Your Life On Eternity

Surprised By Hope: Rethinking Heaven, the Resurrection, and the Mission of the Church

2009-02-11T20:20:00.014-06:00

I just finished reading a book in which the main characters and her followers believe that humanity's future lies in the stars. They work hard to make sure that the physical needs of everyone in the group are met. But, the groups time, talents, treasures and their dreams are most fully invested in outer space. In that story the main character's half brother has invested his life in Earth. He pours himself out trying to make things better here. I found it much easier to have sympathy for his character. As I was reading NT Wright's Surprised By Hope: Rethinking Heaven, the Resurrection, and the Mission of the Church, I couldn't help but think that it was fortuitous that I read these two books back-to-back. One, a Science Fiction novel with an openly anti-Christian bias, and the other about Christianity's misguided understanding of death, the afterlife, Christ's resurrection and future events. In some ways, they both tell the same story. The story of a group of people who believe the Earth is irreparably evil and dream of escaping it and living in the heavens.

It has only been since my Dad died that I spent more than a little time thinking about what happens to a man after he has died. In my own church there is much more time spent discussing how to avoid hell than talking about what salvation means. However, long before reading Surprised by Hope I had come to the same conclusion that Wright outlines in this book. No matter how ofter I sing, "When we've been there 10,000 years, bright shining as the sun; We've no less days to sing God's praise that when we'd first begun," the Bible never promises me an eternity as a disembodied spirit living in heaven. Jesus was resurrected; I will be too. My future isn't in heaven, but on a newly created Earth.

I didn't agree with all of Wright's theology, politics or conclusions. Still, the book was a book that kept my brain working long after I put it down.

People who believe that Jesus is already Lord and that he will appear again as judge of the world are called and equipped (to put it mildly) to think and act quite differently in the world from those who don't. (p. 144)

This quote reminded me of one of my favorite Bible verses:

"We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ," 2 Corinthians 10:5 (NAS)

I am not sure I agree with this quote though. If Christians are equipped to think and act differently than the world then why in the world are there so many different expressions of what it means to behave like a Christian? The best I have been able to do is to embrace some strongly held convictions that I believe I can support with book, chapter and verse. And, how I live out my faith is different from how other Christians do.

Which of our present characteristics, and indeed our present blemishes will be retained in our transformed physicality (p. 160)

This idea has actually been on my mind for quite some time. My daughter said something to me about the way she understands God. I wish I had written it down, because I don't remember what it was. But, I do remember my reaction. She sees God completely different than I do. Her brain thinks in concretes rather than abstracts. I have always believed in the resurrection our bodies would be perfect, without blemish. That day I realized that, if God were to "heal" my daughter's brain, she would be different than the person she is today. She wouldn't relate to God the same. She wouldn't relate to me the same. I haven't come to any conclusions, but I suspect that the person needing healing in the resurrection is me. I talk alot about neurodiversity, acceptance and accomodation, but on a day-to-day basis I find myself impatient and demanding "normalcy."

The last part of the book tried to answer the so what. If we are destined to a bodily resurrection on a newly created Earth how should that change the way we live out our Christian walk today. And, I found that the book failed me. I suspect Wright's audience wasn't the lay person. He was writing to people in positions of power -- his peers if you will. That isn't who I am. So, when Wright talks about reclaiming time, space and matter for Christ in the present, he talks way above my sphere of influence. I have influence over just 1/2 acre, 1300 square feet, and 24-hours a day. My mission field serves three children and a husband. I indirectly bless my family. And, how a new understanding of eternity affects me at the grassroots level is unclear.

Oh well, I needed something new to pray about and meditate upon anyway.

Parable of the Talents

2009-02-10T13:32:00.017-06:00

I wasn't the only one who was confused about whether to classify Octavia Butler's Parable series as Science Fiction or not. I went to the library to get the next book in the series and I couldn't find it. Odd. I had checked on the book's availability just before leaving my home. Could someone have come and checked it out in the 20 or so minutes it took me to drive into town. I re-checked the computer. The first book in the series, Parable of the Sower, was classified as Science Fiction and alphabetized by author's last name in that section of the library. The second book, Parable of the Talents (and many of Butler's other books) was in the fiction section.

I was disappointed in this book. I will just admit that my biggest problem with the book was its strong anti-Christian bias. Oh, the first book in the series hinted of it. The main character's father, a Baptist minister, was described as "the best man I ever knew" and he beat one of his sons so badly that the son found living at home intolerable. The step-mother, who was also a Christian, was distant from her step-daughter and had favored this biological son. The main character couldn't bring herself to believe in the God described in the book of Job -- a God who allowed Satan to torment Job and in the end told Job he didn't have the right to question Him. This didn't really bother me. Even a cursory reading of the Bible and the story of Jacob makes it clear that there is dysfunction in the families claiming allegiance to God. Jacob's twin brother rejected the God of their father; his descendants, the Edomites, are counted among Israel's enemies. But, in the second book, Christian America, a Dominionist Protestant group, has taken over the country. The Christians are portrayed as hypocrites, sadists, rapists, pedophiles, and slavers. Even the one Christian, the long lost brother of our heroine, who is at first presented as misguided and blind to the abuses of his church is tainted by the end of the story. There is not even one who lives out what he or she believes.

This book is politically charged and one-sided. It presents Dominion Theology as a widespread doctrine of all Evangelical and Protestant churches. As a home schooling mom, I know that the theology exists. Some individuals within the home schooling community hold a Dominionist interpretation of the Bible. I was in the Army; I moved around a lot. At each duty station, I did the obligatory "find a church" church visits. I have never in my entire life been in a church which advocated this theological position and I have been in a lot of churches. During last year's election season, my church did little more than make voter guides available in the lobby and remind members to vote. The voter guides highlighted all the major party candidates. I was annoyed that the third party candidates weren't included. But, I didn't feel that the church was trying to sway my vote any more than the mainstream media whose reporting also featured only the two major parties. There wasn't one sermon on abortion, homosexuality or the national budget. And, in fact, it is my opinion that Dominionist Theology isn't even biblical.

Jesus answered, "My kingdom is not of this world. If My kingdom were of this world, then My servants would be fighting so that I would not be handed over to the Jews; but as it is, My kingdom is not of this realm." ~ John 18:36 (NAS)

Since, I know that Dominionism is not as widespread as people seem to think it is, I get annoyed when mainstream media tries to present "Dominionism" as something other than what it is -- an attempt to seize political power and create a theocracy. I am not comfortable with groups who seem to want to remake America into a theocracy. History has shown us over and over that a religion with political clout is a dangerous thing. Sadly, there is a lot of wickedness that the universal church needs to answer for. But, an inidividual Christian who is active politically is not necessarily a Dominionist. I didn't give up my US citizenship and my right to vote, run for office or support the candidate of my choice when I accepted a Christian worldveiw. I am equally uncomfortable with liberals who want to take over Washington and create laws "prohibiting the free exercise thereof." I find both the Democrat and Republican platforms a danger to a society in which everyone is free to pursue happiness. I find the national debt, an issue that wasn't directly addressed in the Parable series, a threat to individual freedom. I am not free if I have to pay a large part of my income to the government -- I am, instead, indentured to that government. I am much more comfortable with libertarians than with either of the two major parties. In the Parable of the Talents, Butler did an admirable job creating a future in which the Christian Right "wins." She exposes the danger that occurs when a group tries to force their beliefs and opinions on others. She is not as good at seeing that there are two sides to the coin. The future will be just as scary and potentially abusive if a strong anti-Christian group becomes politically and culturally powerful. And, it is just as likely.

"Priestly groping of child bodies is disgusting. But it may be less harmful in the long run than priestly subversion of child minds. ~ Richard Dawkins

There are people who would classify reading a religious text to a child, taking them to Sunday school, or praying with them as involuntarily involving a child in religious practices and a violation of the child's rights -- a form of child abuse really. In the Parable of the Talents, the children of the followers of Earthseed, the religious worldview embraced by the main character and her community, are forcibly stolen and placed in adoptive homes where they can be re-educated and re-socialized. After all, the group in power needs people to think like them if they are to continue to win elections and stay in power. What if the Richard Dawkins of this world were the ones with power? Would there not be a similar attempt to socialize and re-teach the children who are being raised in Christian homes? And, how do our current laws on mandatory education, mandated scope and sequences, mandatory testing using state developed tests affect how individuals educate their children in their own home? For what it is worth, I believe that parents should be free to educate and socialize their children however they like.

Probably the area that made me most uncomfortable, because it is the most visible at this moment, is the idea that Christians, and Christians only, should adopt children so that they can raise them "in the faith." Individual Christians may indeed feel led to adopt. In my case, I am infertile and chose adoption as a way to build my family. But, I believe with all my heart that the universal church, the one that Christ said would be known for its love, should have an agenda that has as its primary goal orphan reduction. Most adopted children (those adopted domestically and those adopted through foreign adoption) are not truly orphans. It seems to me that many Christians have looked at the poor, those living in war torn countries and the mentally ill and found them wanting -- unfit to parent their own children.

Additionally, there are Christians who just shouldn't ever adopt. I have found only a little support or understanding within the Christian church when dealing with the behavioral and emotional needs of my daughter with fetal alcohol syndrome. Her current youth pastor and the adult volunteers have been wonderful. But, I can honestly say that this is the first time I found a group of adults who let her join her same-age peers and willingly accommodated her brain differences. Others cannot see my daughter's behavior as anything but evidence of sin. The medications that help her function every day are considered unnecessary. Psychiatry and psychology are viewed as totally at odds with a Christian worldview.

As I researched this author I learned that she had intended on writing a third book in this series. She died before it was completed. Frankly, I don't know where the story would have gone. Earthseed has started to leave Earth. They are on their way to the stars to start new colonies in outer space -- human seeds from Earth. The Parable of the Talents ends with the main character, indeed most of the characters, dead or dying from old age. The story on Earth is done. There is nowhere for the story to go but to the new colony in space. Butler seems to write about the worst, most brutal side of humanity. Would she have been willing to admit that humans from Earthseed took their worst and most brutal side into space and recreated the evilness that was part of the Earth? Even in a space where religion couldn't be blamed?

Five Dialogues

2009-02-07T11:45:00.000-06:00

Recently my daughter's boyfriend was restricted for a week. As she bemoaned the fact that she wasn't going to see him and that he couldn't even call her on the phone, she explained his crime. Her story was that he forgot to let the dog out. It seemed unreasonable for a parent to restrict a child for a week for such an infraction, but that was her story and she was sticking to it. I found out later that he had sneaked through a window and out of the house to smoke a cigarette. He was caught on his way back in as he drug his snow-covered boots over the antique desk that sits in front of the window. My daughter had tried to present her boyfriend in the best possible light and in the process told a thinly veiled lie.

That is how I felt when I finished reading Plato's Five Dialogues -- Euthyphro, Apology, Crito, Meno, Phaedo. Before we were married, my husband purchased a complete set of the Great Books of the Western World. This is the translation I read. I don't know whether or not this is considered a good translation of Plato or not. I am unsure whether experts in language would agree that the translation accurately reflects Plato's thoughts and ideas. But, the translation was easy to read and understand.

The Apostle Paul boasted of sitting at the feet of Gamileal. Well, Plato sat at the feet of Socrates. He was mentored and learned from him. The story Plato tells is not unbiased. Socrates was a man he respected greatly. And, I suspect he was trying to present Socrates in the best possible light. Because, if I understood the reading correctly, Socrates was tried and put to death for being a boor! They did this when he was 70 years old and ready to die of natural causes. Which of course makes little sense.

"Did you not put to death Socrates the sophist, fellow citizens, because he was shown to have been the teacher of Critias, one of the Thirty who overthrew the democracy?" ~ Aeschines

Two years ago, my daughter and I read Plato's Republic as part of her home school curriculum. Plato's ideal city-state isn't a democracy. It isn't even a republic. It is an oligarchy.

Perhaps, I am wrong. Perhaps, Socrates really truly was executed because he pointed out the flaws in the reasoning of Greece's upper crust. It seems more likely that his young students were taking his ideas about government and running amok with them. I think there is more to the story than what is contained in the pages of the dialogue. If I am wrong, I will join Simmias in saying:

I perceive that I was unconsciously talking nonsense. ~ Simmias, as quoted by Phaedo in Plato's Phaedo

That was my favorite line from the book! And it came from the most difficult dialogue to read. It was also the dialogue that stimulated the most thought. Phaedo takes place in Socrates' prison cell just before he is to drink the poison hemlock. In it Socrates and some of his pupils discuss what happens to the soul after death. Plato didn't attend Socrates' death. He relates the story as told by Phaedo. I think the major difficulty I had following this dialague was that Socrates' thoughts were communicated in the third person.

"And what is purification but the separation of the soul from the body, as I was saying before; the habit of the soul gathering and collecting herself into herself from all sides out of the body; the dwelling in her own place alone, as in another life, so also in this, as far as she can; -- the release of the soul from the chains of the body?" ~ Socrates, as quoted by Phaedo in Plato's Phaedo

There are times when I feel my reading is being guided by a force outside of myself. When I am feeling less mystical and more practical, I know that some questions are eternal. I multi-read. That means I have a stack of books on my bedside table that I have started and not finished. One of the other books that I am currently reading is NT Wright's Surprised by Hope: Rethinking Heaven, the Resurrection, and the Mission of the Church. In it Wright points out that the hope of Christians is not a disembodied soul living eternally in heaven. In fact, we are promised a physical, bodily resurrection here on earth. The idea that creation and matter are bad and a distortion of what perfectly exists elsewhere isn't biblical. Yet, this idea has crept into the teachings and doctrines of the church.

In the end, it is my opinion, that the most important question that the Five Dialogues seeks to answer is this:

"But then, O my friends, he said, if the soul is really immortal, what care should be taken of her, not only in respect of the portion of time which is called life, but of eternity! Socrates, as quoted by Phaedo in Plato's Phaedo.

Last, and as an aside, I had never really thought about Socrates having a wife and children. He did have a wife. She was in the prison the day he died. He sent her away at the end so that he could die in peace. He didn't want a lot of wailing and gnashing of teeth. But, she seemed devoted to him until the end. Socrates is said to have said of her:

It is the example of the rider who wishes to become an expert horseman: "None of your soft-mouthed, docile animals for me," he says; "the horse for me to own must show some spirit" in the belief, no doubt, if he can manage such an animal, it will be easy enough to deal with every other horse besides. And that is just my case. I wish to deal with human beings, to associate with man in general; hence my choice of wife. I know full well, if I can tolerate her spirit, I can with ease attach myself to every human being else.

I did not read this in context. But, I suspect that Socrates may have thought that this was the highest praise he could pay anyone. After all, he felt that being a gadfly to the entire Greek citizenry was his highest calling.

The Parable of the Sower

2009-02-05T14:56:00.000-06:00

Octavia Butler has been one of Shelfari's featured authors. I hadn't heard of her and the reviews of her books looked interesting. I added The Parable of the Sower to my wish list. I was thrilled to find the book at our local, small library.

The story is classified as Science Fiction(SF). Perhaps, I am a SF snob. Or, perhaps I don't get out enough, but I wouldn't have classified this book as SF. My understanding (or limited understanding) of the genre is that SF books tell the story in a setting very different than our own world, a setting in which science and technology have combined to create a much different world. In The Parable of the Sower, Butler envisions a dysfunctional America -- science and technology didn't allow us to continue our forward progress toward a future Utopia. Government has either failed or become so corrupt that society no longer functions. Crime and inflation rule the day. Food water and basic needs are in short supply and, in many cases, only available to the rich. Humans have reverted to animalistic, survivalist lifestyles. The story is told through the journal entries of the novel's heroine, Lauren Olamina, a black young becomes the leader of a small band of people determined to survive.

This book would be an excellent book to begin a discussion of worldview questions. Is there a God? What does God look like? How do we relate to God?" The god of the Parable of the Sower, really is the same god that is presented in the Star Wars movie, a pantheistic impersonal god who is subject to continuous change. A god who can be changed by the humans who interact with it. I couldn't help but think that Olamina's god was Evolution (with a capital E) -- the god of change. And, I am not talking just about biological evolution; I am speaking of evolution in the broadest sense of the word -- biological, social, cultural, political, etc.

I can't seem to get away from my life. I moved my book review blog away from my personal blog so that I could disengage from my real life when I read. After all, reading is supposed to be an escape from your real life. I wanted my reviews to be about the book and not about me. Yet, on my first review since my Official First Entry, I find myself reflecting about an idea from the book that perhaps wouldn't catch anyone else's attention. Lauren Olamina's was prenatally affected by drugs that her biological mother took during her pregnancy. Because of this she is an empath, a sharer, Lauren feels the sensations, emotions and pain of others.

My oldest daughter was prenatally affected by drugs and alcohol. She has partial fetal alcohol syndrome. The truth about her brain is almost the opposite of what is described in this novel. To some my daughter isn't capable of understanding that her family, peer group and other have plans, thoughts, and ideas of their own; she can't get inside their brain. Through a series of special education classes and negative encounters in social environments, she has learned that she is supposed to "look outside herself." And, she is "capable." If you put her in a sterile environment and ask her specific questions about how other's might be thinking or feeling, she can come up with the "right" answer. Through therapy, correcting and negative peer response, she has come to view everyone with suspicion and distrust. Social settings are often a burden rather than a pleasure. The added stress of "responding rightly" has caused anxiety that wasn't there in her early life. Anxiety that is crippling and makes her appear odd to some, withdrawn to others, snobbish to some of her peers. Is it any wonder that 80% of adults who were prenatally affected by alcohol are mentally ill?

And, like Lauren Olamina, she has learned that the damage done to the brain before birth is a horrible burden to bear.

"Anyway, my neurotransmitters are scrambled and they're going to stay scrambled. But I can do okay as long as other people don't know about me."

And, I wonder how often I make my daughter feel the way the father in this book did? "You can beat this thing..." My daughter wants to "pass." I want her to pass. I want her to be seen as normal and I am never quite sure how much to push. So, I have to wonder, does the term mental illness say more about my daughter or the culture in which she lives?

Anyway, I enjoyed this book and I am anxious to read the next book in the series, The Parable of the Talents. Oh, I think I just failed the first rule of writing a book review -- bottom line is supposed to go up front. Oh well, so far I have had exactly 0 visitors to this blog. I suspect that no one cares if I am a poor writer. I am a Christian. Many of my eventual readers may be too. So, I will warn that the characters in this book have sex. The depiction is not graphic. Just a sentence or two that it occurred.

Official First Entry

2009-02-02T15:13:00.000-06:00

I am rather loose with New Year's Resolutions. I think about how I would like to change my life and then hope at some point throughout the year, I get around to making the change. Last year, I added two young people to my family and my adult time went away. By the end of the year, we were approaching our 6-month mark. I was exhausted. So, my New Year's Resolution was to reclaim some of my adult time by making a reading plan.

I had wanted to write a blog entry about each book I read, kind of like virtual accountability. I already have a blog and I have failed at dual-blogging in the past. Still, I decided that I would not try to add my book reviews to my regular blog. I had hoped to get this blog up and running earlier; however, in keeping up with my rather loose implementation of resolutions, I spent most of the last month designing my blog skin. Do you think it is pretty? I did start my reading earlier in the year. I transferred all of the book reviews I had written on my old blog to this, official (kind of) reading blog.

The name of my blog, Gentle Traveler, is really a dream remade. I had always said that if I ever had a little girl I would name her Damaris Sojourner. Damaris means to tame or gentle. And, of course the word traveler comes from Sojourner. I never gave birth to a child. The children who I parent all were named by their mothers, a gift I chose to leave intact when they were adopted into our family.

So, does that mean this blog is my baby? How pitiful is that?

Shattered Bonds

2009-01-29T17:19:00.000-06:00

The sidebar of Wayward Radish's blog contains this quote by CS Lewis:

"Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive...those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience."

Perhaps that quote best expresses my thoughts after reading Shattered Bonds: The Color of Child Welfare by Dorothy Roberts. This book provides a mixture of anecdotal personal accounts and statistics to attempt to explain the over-representation of black children in the child welfare system. The author points out that most children in foster care, including black children, are not there because of abuse. Instead the foster care system has become a warehouse for child-neglect related to poverty, mental illness and drug abuse. She points out that the court ordered generic parenting classes that parents must participate in in order to get their children back rarely address the families problems. As a society, we have become too willing to believe that poverty and neglect are the same thing. Sadly, when you look at the number of black children in foster care and compare that number to children of other races, even if one controls for other variables, there are still more black children in care.

I was a foster mom for awhile. I never intended to be one. I wanted to adopt an older child and I was told by the agency I went through that I had to become certified. When I completed my paperwork for adoption, I checked that I was not interested in a legal risk adoption, that is an adoption in which the child's parent's legal rights had not been terminated and the state was still pursuing reunification. During training, this type of adoption was consistently called foster-adopt. Anyway, the first child placed in my home was a legal risk adoption. The problem was that I didn't speak the language of DCFS. When I was contacted and asked whether or not I would accept the child, it was explained to me that my home was a "pre-adoptive" home. This is a code word meaning the state is schizophrenically attempting reunification while the child is already in an adoptive home. Ms. Roberts accurately described the problems that I observed.

Parents involved with Child Protective Services are considered guilty until they can prove themselves innocent.

Social workers make life changing decisions about child placements based upon their own bias and cultural beliefs rather than objectively applied standards.

The "care" the family receives is generic and not based upon individual needs.

In most cases, there is an underlying belief that children are better off in "loving" foster or adoptive homes than with their families.

Reunification is good for kids. Children want to live with their mom or dad. When that can't happen, they want to stay in contact with them. The children are angry. They may lash out. They probably won't appreciate the efforts to place them with more suitable parents. I couldn't help but think of all the kids who have been taken from their family of origin, abused and neglected while in foster care and then diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder. I suspect most of the kids treated by "Attachment Therapists" would have been better off in their family of origin. (For those unfamiliar with this diagnosis and the "therapy," Report of the APSAC Task Force on Attachment Therapy, Reactive Attachment Disorder, and Attachment Problems.)

Or you can watch:

I am parenting Marissa because the state found her mother incompetent to do so. I am parenting David and Beverly because their mothers live in poverty in Haiti, a country without any social services. This book forced me to contemplate, "Who is worthy of maintaining the right to parent their children?" It reminds me that I have been tremendously blessed with a real power that comes from being white and wealthy. It reaffirms my commitment to view the work Marissa's mom did trying to get her back as honorable, a sign of love, rather than wholly inadequate.

But, more than that, I wonder at why our society defines "good" parenting as having wealth and mental health. I don't have to go back very many generations in my own family's story to find people parenting in poverty or while suffering from mental illness, alcoholism and/or developmental disability. There are chapters in our story that include suicide, living in kwansit huts and babies sleeping in dresser drawers. My grandmother raised ten kids in a very tiny 3-bedroom home. Reunions with my husband's family include hearing, again, how the kids used to miss school to do farm work. These stories, rather than being hardships, are the stuff memories are made of. It is what binds us together. Yet, if the standards described in Shattered Bonds were applied to us... there but for the grace of God.

Hat Tip: Attachment Therapist Neil Feinberg Terrorizes 10-Year Old Adopted Boy

Reimagining Disability in Late Modernity

2009-01-22T23:38:00.000-06:00

I have quoted this post from Brandywine Books before. But it bears repeating before I start my review of Amos Yong's Theology and Down Syndrome: Reimagining Disability in Late Modernity

A book may be good for nothing; or there may be only one thing in it worth knowing; are we to read it all through? ~ Samuel Johnson (Why Read What You Don't Have To?)

I started this book more than a year ago. But, I put it down and had trouble picking it back up again. Well, prior to adding to my book collection, I felt morally, ethically, financially and in all other ways obligated to read the books I already own. So, I am working through the stack of books that I paid good money for and then failed to read or didn't finish.

Yong's book clearly divides into two parts. The first section I would give 5-stars and would suggest that everyone working with or caring for a person with a disability read. It is that good! Parts I and Part II present a biblical, historical and theoretical overview of not Down Syndrome, but of disability in general. This section is well researched, well referenced and thought provoking. I especially appreciated the author's thoughts on whether disabilities were medical problems that needed to be cured versus cultural problems that could be better accommodated.

"My argument so far can be summarized thus: whatever else disability is, it is also the experience of discrimination, marginalization, and exclusion from social, cultural, political and economic domains of human life; and part of the solution to disability is to overcome the barriers to full participation in these arenas. " (Page 97)

The final part of the book deals with theology: creation, providence, the Fall, theological anthropology, ecclesiology, soteriology, and eschatology. While reading Part III (and explaining why it took me more than a year to read a book), I lost interest. And frankly I believe the author excluded the very people he is trying to include during his discussion creation and the fall. He concludes that we need a new understanding of sin and the fall. He postulates that Adam rather than existing in time and space is really ha adam, a representation of the first self aware humans who suppress the truth and resist God. This understanding allows for million of years of evolution and, more specific to Down Syndrome, genetic mutations and variations. I suggest that the understanding of man as being in the image of God when he is rational and "self aware" may in fact mean that some people with severe disabilities may not qualify as "human" or as being made in the image of God. Finally, I think Yong's god is too little. Instead of an omnipotent God, Yong presents an omnicompassionate god who will, in the end, redeem all things.

Yong's thoughts on providence were better and reminded me of a quote I underlined in The Doors of the Sea. Hart was commenting on a story that appeared in the newspaper about a father who had lost 4 of his 5 children in the tsunami:

" Only a moral cretin at that moment would have attempted to soothe his anguish by assuring him that his children had died as a result of God's eternal, inscrutable, and righteous counsels, and that in fact their deaths had mysteriously served God's purposes in history, and that all of this was completely necessary for God to accomplish his ultimate design in having created the world."

Along the same vein, Yong was not quite as eloquent when he said, "From the standpoint of pastoral care, this means that we should never tell a person with a disability that his or her disability was ordained by God."

Whatever ground Yong gained in discussing providence paled to the painful journey through the rest of Part III. So, I suggest reading the first 150 pages of this book and then putting it down. If you want to learn theology, study the Bible, pray and be open to the mysteries of God. Some things we just aren't going to fully understand on this side of eternity.

Related Posts: A Call to Dig Deeper, A Little of This, Born Again or Just Well Born?

The Doors of the Sea

2009-01-11T10:11:00.000-06:00

It is only the second week of January but I suspect The Doors of the Sea: Where Was God in the Tsunami? by David Bentley Hart will end up being one of the best books I have read this year.

Rather, my principle aim has simply been to elucidate -- as far as in my lies -- what I understand to be the true scriptural account of God's goodness, the shape of redemption, the nature of evil, and the conditions of the fallen world, not to convince anyone of its credibility, but simply to show where many of the arguments of Christianity's antagonists and champions alike fail to address what is most essential to the gospel. (page 93)

Contemplating abstract ideas about God, the universe, man, salvation and the cause of evil and suffering is never akin to reading a five and dime novel. This book is made more difficult by the author's style of writing. He never chooses to use a common word when an obscure, more precise word will do. If you love words, and I love words, this isn't necessarily a problem. Still, the book, at only one-hundred-four pages, takes a little longer to digest than one might expect. The ideas expressed in this book challenged me to think more deeply about the nature of God and the nature of man. One of the most intriguing paradigms presented by the author was whether salvation can be best explained by picturing man as a criminal who needs pardoned or a slave who needs emancipated. The Bible is replete with images of slavery and emancipation. And, what difference do these two ideas have in how I understand original sin.

When I closed the book, I was left with questions that kept my brain active for some time. This is precisely why I consider the book a great read. I am troubled when Christians insist that God causes evil -- evil that destroys innocent children -- to fulfill his purpose or to judge a nation. But, this idea is not without Biblical precedent, the story of Sodom and Gomorrah. It might be easy to believe that Abraham interpreted the destruction of the cities based upon his personal bias and comparable "piety." However, the story begins with a visit from three supernatural beings and continues with Abraham attempting to persuade God to change his mind. In The Doors of the Sea, the author dismisses God's role in the Tsunami. His understanding is very similar to CS Lewis' explanation of the world as being enemy occupied territory. Evil cannot originate from God; all evil is the result of living in a fallen world. The story of Sodom and Gomorrah doesn't seem to neatly fit in the author's explanation.

Finally, and beyond the scope of this book, I don't believe it is possible to interpret how God intervenes in history by looking only at disasters. As I reflected on the doctrinal position of the author, I began to wonder, "What about miracles?" Biblical, historical and personal stories seem to indicate that at times God does step in a miraculously alter the natural order of things. People are healed from illnesses. The Israelites were emancipated through a series of miracles culminating with the death of all Egyptian first born males, many of whom were also innocent children. And, why is it that some people experience miraculous, physical healings when others do not? The New Testament explains why Paul wasn't healed from his thorn in the flesh. But, isn't there a difference between not providing a miraculous healing to an adult who has willingly placed his faith in Christ and is working for the glory of the kingdom and not providing a healing for a child who is suffering from cancer? Or, closer to home, not protecting an infant in the womb from the ravages of prenatal exposure to alcohol?

As an adult I chose to believe in theism. I chose the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. I believe that Christ is His promised Messiah. I believe that God has revealed himself through prophets of Israel and through Christ (Hebrews 1:1, 2). Hart's argument would be be "whole" if I could dismiss the Tanakh, the Old Testament. I cannot. Christ tells us that the Law of Moses, the prophets, and the psalms prophecy about him (Luke 24:44). Paul asserts that the Jews were entrusted with the oracles of God. The Bereans were commended for looking for the truths of Christ by studying scripture. The exhortations of the New Testament church to study was a command to study the Tanakh; the New Testament didn't exist yet.

I am not asking these questions as a skeptic, but neither am I entirely comfortable or "ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you" to the problem of pain and suffering. I would like to have a cup of coffee with the author and continue to discuss the thoughts that envade and trouble my mind. I'd like to pick his brain. But, then I remember how often I had to stop and re-read a paragraph just so I could honestly say that I understood what the author was trying to communicate. I don't consider myself dim, but my brain does not always grasp ideas quickly. I am much more deliberate, reflective and slow in my thinking. In the end, I am sure Hart would be exasperated by me. Perhaps it is better that I leave my questions as mysteries; mysteries that only find comfort and rest in the miracle of First Fruits.

Hat Tip to Debbi who blogs at Deb on the Run for recommending this book to me.

A Family That Is Sick Together...

2009-01-09T12:20:00.000-06:00

... lets Mama read!

Ron and I are both less than romantic. Christmas, birthday and anniversary gifts are not huge surprises. We have each started a wish list on Amazon and when the season comes, I sign in and purchase one of the items on his list. Both of our lists are full of books. So, that is what I get for gifts. It is inexpensive and easy. And, we both get what we truly want.

Being under-the-weather when I have a treasure trove of new books would have been no fun at all if everyone wasn't sleeping more, laying around watching movies and having down time of their own. This last several weeks is the first time since the kids moved in that I have had a great deal of time to devote to reading books that are not purchased in the children's section of the bookstore.

In Their Own Voices: Transracial Adoptees Tell Their Stories by Rita James Simon, Rhonda M. Roorda

Obviously, this book will appeal most to those families who have adopted transracially. The book tells the story of black and biracial adults who were raised in white families. This book wasn't exactly what I expected. Based upon the editorial on Amazon.com I was expecting a more scholarly presentation -- more like a descriptive research study. Instead, this is a more of a coffee-cup discussion between the authors and the individuals they interviewed. Each interview is unique and, while each touched on racial identity and how those were affected by growing up in a white family, it falls short of outlining individual and environmental differences that positively shaped each person's outcome. In fact, some of the people interviewed who told a story of growing up in an environment completely void of black peers and mentor and whose families did little to incorporate black history and culture in their childhood presented themselves as more comfortable with themselves as a black man or woman than those who grew up in more integrated neighborhoods. In the end, the authors attempt to draw conclusions from their interviews. In my opinion, their efforts are hindered by their method of data collection. Still, I have committed to raising adults who are secure in who they are. This book gives me insight into the adult lives of transracial adoptees.

"All the participants believe that transracial adoption served them well; all of them feel connected to their adoptive parents; and all, except one, support transracial adoption, but, with the strong recommendation that agencies and prospective parents recognize the importance of learning about their child's racial history and culture and make that history and culture a part of both their child's life and their family life."

The Warrior Method: A Parents' Guide to Rearing Healthy Black Boys by Raymond Winbush

Honestly, I struggled with this book. The author begins the book by outlining Destructive Black Male Behaviors and later outlines Child-Rearing Strategies. Both of these "lists" are dismissive of those who have different ideas than the author's. Finally, it seemed that on every page, I was met with a direct assault on my Worldview. One example:

"Black Way parents are rare. At the core of their child rearing methods is the belief that African-centered methods and values are the only choice in raising healthy black boys in America... Kwanzaa is given a place in their home, and its Nguzo Saba (Seven Principles) are valued throughout the year and taught to future generations."

According to Carlotta Morrow, The Truth About Kwanzaa, the word Kwanzaa is derived from the swahili phrase "matunda ya kwanza" which means first fruits. Anyone who has read this blog knows that our family already celebrates first fruits; Christ rose from the dead on the Feast of First Fruits. The book goes on to offer "sample" prayers to ancestors. It seems that by rejecting the dominant European culture of the United States, a black person must also reject Christianity.

Still, in the end I had to say that I appreciated the author's insight. He reiterated what those who have been transracially adopted had said; teach your child his history and culture -- do it on purpose.

The Lost Book of Enoch: Comprehensive Transliteration of the Forgotten Book of the Bible by Joseph B. Lumpkin

Jewish sages generally passed down a saying or tradition with the name of its originator. The name of the person quoted as the source is then used for dating the quote. Jude quotes the Book of Enoch.

It was also about these men that Enoch, in the seventh generation from Adam, prophesied, saying, "Behold, the Lord came with many thousands of His holy ones, to execute judgment upon all, and to convict all the ungodly of all their ungodly deeds which they have done in an ungodly way, and of all the harsh things which ungodly sinners have spoken against Him." ~ Jude 1:14-15

I have a self-inflicted goal. Every 5th book I read, I try to make sure it was written more than 100 years ago. I don't want my thinking stuck in 21st century America. This book predates Christianity. Copies of portions of it were found among the Dead Sea Scrolls. The book is included in the Canon of the Ethiopian Orthodox Church. It is quoted by many church fathers. The book contains the story of fallen angels, prophecy concerning The Elect One and detailed eschatology. The language and visions are reminiscent of the writings of Daniel and John the Revelator.

Perhaps some of what is recorded in the Book of Enoch was really spoken by Enoch and memorized and passed down orally from generation to generation. Still, as I was reading it, I had the sense that I was reading an ancient equivalent of the Left Behind series, a religious fiction story. Some ancient raconteur added names, stories and legends to the stories passed down through the Mikra, that which is read, and the Mishnah, that which is repeated -- the oral traditions. I began to wonder just how ancient the book was though. As I was reading it, one of the quotes that stood out to me was:

"Approach and hear my voice. Go and say to the Watchers of heaven, for whom you have come to intercede: 'You should intercede for men, and not men for you.'" ~1 Enoch 15:2

The Watchers that Enoch was interceding for were the sons of God, angels, who had left heaven and took the sons of man, humans, for their wives. Their offspring were the Nephilim. (Genesis 6) The Book of Enoch goes into great detail about this rather vague story in the beginning of the Bible. It names the leaders of the Watchers and goes into detail about their activities on earth. The Book of Enoch also goes into quite a bit of detail about the holy angels who remain faithful to God. When I was preparing to adopt Beverly and David, I read about Haitian Voodoo, a monotheistic religion -- a belief that insist that God be approached through spirit mediators. Could the Watchers and holy angels of Enoch be the foundation of the spiritual beings central to the beliefs of those in Western Africa? If we are to believe the story of Babel, it seems that the ancestors of these Africans would have had a memory of a monotheistic God and a spirit world.

Again, this story will not appeal to everyone. However, the book was well respected at the time of Christ and was known to the Early Chuch fathers. It tells us something of the beliefs and culture surrounding Christ. And, gives us insight into how some of Christ's sayings would have been interpreted by his audience. A good read, but not one that upset my world view.

Currently, I am reading The Doors of the Sea: Where Was God in the Tsunami? by David Bentley Hart. I have also joined a group on homeschooling moms at The Homeschool Lounge in reading The Excellent Wife: A Biblical Perspective by Martha Peace. This is my first attempt at a "Women's Bible Study." I generally prefer to study the Bible rather than books about the Bible. And, my preferred Bible study partner is Ron.

I am reading books written for adults -- I feel so grown up!